Living Out Loud Everyday

Spring Break and Spring Term

2011-03-22T12:26:00.001-04:00

I am home alone and its a Tuesday morning. I haven't been home on a Tuesday morning in months. It is very quiet.

Back in January I mentioned that I would go into greater detail about school and what's going on in the department. I meant to post in February but said school has been keeping me very busy. Today in this quiet house I will attempt to post more details.

I am being lazy and don't want to get distracted so I am not going to go back and see what I posted in January about school. I don't think it was much. Here's the deal. I am at Morgan State University in Baltimore. It is an HBCU. (Anyone know that acronym?) Basically its an all-black school. I am one of very few whites to attend the university. I'll be honest, its a little strange sometimes. And lonely. I am the minority. What a switch from life as I knew it for the first 30+ years of my life. It is also a blessing. It is a challenge and every day is full of learning opportunities and room for growth. You may be wondering why I decided to go to a Morgan. Actually, I don't know that I can answer that really, except to say that is where I am supposed to be right now. (Long story). I have had a hard time making friends. I know! Can you imagine?! It's so true though. I am very non-traditional as an MSU student. I am married - with kids - BIG kids - white - in my 30's - not associated to any sororities/clubs - although I did dream that I made the track team (can you tell I have running on the brain?) I have finally made a few friends though and makes a big difference.

Last semester was great. It was incredibly difficult and rewarding and I enjoyed most every minute of it. (Isn't is nice how one's memory can alter a bit to remember the good after the fact?) I felt like things meshed from the beginning. Everything was more fluid. This semester has been choppy and disjointed so far. It's been more difficult, but I'm hanging in there. Midterms were last week and I feel like I did well. Grades will post this week, so we'll see...

I have some big decisions to make in the next few weeks. I am trying to decide how to proceed with the next portion of school. I am nearing completion of all pre-requisite courses at Morgan, but if I choose to transfer, I need to take additional classes that other universities require. This means summer school. Another option(s) is the traditional/ accelerated BS program at JHU. It is ranked #1 in the nation for nursing schools, but it has an enormous price tag to go with it. I am looking at scholarships and grants but it is still so much money. I think I'd be crazy not to at least try to get in. I am pretty positive that I can get a full-ride to Morgan or a few other schools for nursing, but I am just looking into it at this point.

So, do I spend the money and shoot for JHU? or do I attend a smaller, less expensive, less-prestigious university and do so on scholarship/grant monies? Another option would be to attend the latter and then do my Masters' at JHU a few years down the road. Hmmm... that's a thought.

What do you think? My mind is reeling.

Raising a daughter

2011-03-12T10:33:00.001-05:00

I am grateful for this little person's creative spirit. She is a marvel. (Check out her studio threads.)

It's like sunshine to have her around. She is strong-willed, sensitive and clever. She's a brave little stinker when she wants to be and smart as can be.

I worry about her more than the teenager though. She's filled with anxiety sometimes that cripples her ability to do things. I often wonder if I am the right person to raise her. That thought doesn't last long, because I cannot imagine life for one second without her in it. Still, the tasks sometimes seems daunting.

One of my most cherished times with her is in the early morning (after Jon is at work and the kids are still sleeping) I crawl into bed with her and she wakes up slowly. We giggle and snuggle. I love that quiet precious time with her.

Raising a daughter is a tricky business.

A new blog and an idea

2011-01-20T13:45:00.000-05:00

I've had this idea for awhile but after the holidays it seems like an especially great idea. See the thing is, I want very much to be healthy and strong. We're talking physically. I need a little encouragement though. I am manufacturing my own little support system with my idea. The idea is a new blog. Yes a new and wonderful blog. In the past I have undertaken these things all on my own, but I want this blog to be for many people and written by many people.

If you are interested check this out:

fastrunningwomen

Yep that's the name. It in no way means I am a fast runner, but it gives me something to aspire to doesn't it?
It's not just about running, but health in general. Food, exercise, meditation, goal-setting and yes, running will all be things we talk about. Doesn't it just sound great?! I think so. What's more, it's not entirely up to me as to what we talk about or what gets posted. (I totally love that part.)

I am keeping it open for now, but in order to contribute you need a special invite from yours truly. So leave a comment or shoot me an email for an invite. If you want to read and comment but not contribute you can simply subscribe. No pressure. Check it out. Let me know what you think of the idea. Can't wait for you join me.

Hats

2011-01-13T14:02:00.000-05:00

I'm totally into hats these days. I wear them all the time. This has nothing to do with the fact that my hair has been thinning like crazy the last few months. My obsession started long before the hair-loss began. I love hats. I look pretty good in them. The hair I have left looks good with hats. I can wear them to church, school, the market, while driving. The only one that doesn't really work in those situations is the cowboy hat I claimed at Christmas. (It was my sisters' and had been sitting at my parents' place for a year or two so she passed it on to me.) I wore it on the plane ride home and got quite a few inquiring glances.

When Jon and I first married - nearly 15 year ago - I inherited a bunch of hats from his grandma. Until the last year or so, they have sat in a hat box in an old trunk. I finally decided I was going to give them a shot. Hooked.

You might be surprised at how much attention hats get around here. People, old and young, stop me and tell me how much they like them. All of the sudden I am "fashion conscious" because of the hats. It's a lot of fun actually. Jon is always looking for new hats for me. We go thrifting and he brings me countless hats to model. It reminds me a little of the Dr. in Field of Dreams who bought his wife hats all the time.

The only problem I have with my hat collection is how to store it. The hat box has gone from the trunk to my bedroom floor where the hats are piled up. They hang on the corners of my tall bedroom mirror. I have dreams of a fabulous hat stand that would hold 20+ hats, but I have yet to find anything that is worth buying. I think Jon will have to build me something lovely for my 35th.

Have you seen anything to hang/ store hats that got your attention? I'd love to see it if you have. Meanwhile, think of me when you see some bold women sporting a hat this season. There aren't enough of out there.

Random thoughts on a cold January morning

2011-01-06T06:51:00.000-05:00

Driving home from dropping Jon at work this morning, I had a few random thoughts:

I sometimes listen to Christian rock on the radio and I like it. That's right. I do.

When I drop off Jon, even @ 5:30 in the morning, I often choose what shoes to wear based on whether they match my jammies. I looked sweet this morning.

If I brush my hair before bed it looks fabulous straight out of bed in the morning. (I will brush it later, but I can leave the house feeling pretty good pretty early).

There are many people out there to whom I owe a lot. I am grateful for good, thoughtful people who are part of my life whether on a daily basis, in my past or every now and then. I hope you know who you are and if you don't I am going to try to let you know this year.

I'm glad to be home.

I've become one of "those" people...

2010-12-06T12:41:00.000-05:00

Six months is right around the bend. Sadly, that is how long its been since I last posted. I know many of you think I don't love you anymore, but that's simply not the case. I do. I do love you all. It's just that roughly six months ago, the universe shifted slightly and everything switched gears. Mind you, these are good gears, mostly chosen gears, but different gears all the same.

Goodness. Where do I begin? Well, the first gear shift was a move. We left our lovely, and far-too-expensive abode in Bolton Hill for much more affordable and fitting digs in Remington. (For those of you non-Baltimorians, these are neighborhoods to which I'm referring.) The new place is great. We love it. It's fits us. I may grace you with a few pictures this holiday season. No promises.

Second gear shift, no more homeschool. While this made me terribly sad to consider at first, it is absolutely the right decision. The kids got in to an amazing charter school in our old neighborhood and we couldn't be happier with the sitch there. Still some of you are asking why. Why?! Why switch back to public school?

Let me introduce you to shift #3 in my universe, the one that turned things upside down and put an end to my blogging for an embarrassing length of time -- I am a student again. It is amazingly true! We're talking F/T people! It is my time again to return for that ever-elusive degree. The return also brought a change of major. I finally decided what I want to be when I grow up - a nurse. That's right folks, I'm going into nursing. I cannot tell you how perfect a fit it is. Some of you were surprised when I told you this. I'm not sure what to make of that. In fact, I think I'll delve into that - and the whole nursing/school thing - in another post. (I promise there will be other posts, and many. Sheesh!! You people have so little faith. I see your doubtful, raised eyebrows. I've been busy! There's some serious adjusting going here.)

Final shift, Jon's new job. At the end of a difficult and challenging summer with only sporadic work, Jon was hired at a restoration firm in Baltimore. He works in the central shop restoring windows and doors for historic buildings primarily in Baltimore and the DC area. While not exactly what he went back to school for, we are indescribably grateful for a job in this tough economy. (The unemployment in Baltimore is @10% these days.) He works 6-2 M-F, which actually translates to 6-3 or 4 M-Sa. While somewhat stressful, it has been such a great blessing, this job.

If you shuffle these new variables into the deck of cards I call my life, I'm looking at a seriously different hand these days. A great big thank-you to those of you who asked about the blog, encouraging updates, didn't presume I was dead, etc. And a huge hug to everyone who has been so supportive this first semester back. I pretty much let 90% of my life slip by the wayside these last 14 weeks. With only two finals left to take this week, I will be back in "previous" me mode for six glorious weeks. (Don't get me wrong, I love "student" me too, she's just so exhausting to keep up with.)

Oh, there is one other little gear shift I didn't mention before... A little something in the oven.

I'd better go get it out before it burns. It's biscotti, my new-old favorite snack.
What?! What did you think I was talking about? I bake. It's why I workout more than once a day this time of year. Sheesh!

learning to be still

2010-06-15T11:02:00.000-04:00

I originally wrote a very long post explaining the last few months of our life and how we have been dealing with some difficult trials and disappointments. As I got ready to publish, I decided not to put it all out there. Let me just say this month has been an amazing one. I have learned things about myself and had to exercise my faith muscles more than ever before. The most difficult and wonderful thing I have experienced is the concept of being still. My personality is such that I like to be doing. I like to moving towards something, a goal, a plan, whatever. I like to get things done. That wasn't the way things went this time around. I got great advice from my mom and another dear friend that was so similar that I decided to test it out. I decided to be still and have faith that God is in charge. Guess what? He is. He is in charge. He is aware. He is in everything. And in my case He was just waiting for me to figure that out. Once I turned it over to Him, things were different. I continued packing but my mindset was different. I felt the Spirit as I packed. My home has been calm. I have witnessed the windows of heaven being opened up. Yesterday a wonderful couple came to the apartment and signed the lease for July 15. A miracle really. That's just what it is. A blessing from heaven.

Jon and I celebrated our 14th anniversary yesterday. Fourteen years. We looked forward the next fourteen to realize our children will no longer be 8 and 12, but 22 and 26. I will be in a career and nearing 50. Jon will be past 50 and famous. :) Time never ceases to pass. But our life is blessed. We have everything we need and more. So much more. We have family far and near. We have friends dotting the globe. We are healthy, strong and happy. I don't know what more I could ask for in life.

The next few months will be filled with great changes for our fam. But if you know anything about me, you now I don't mind change. I would say I even appreciate it, dare I say embrace it? I am excited for what lies ahead and what new adventures are in store. Mostly I am grateful. I am grateful to a Father who loves me and allows me to learn and struggle, always waiting in the wings for me to recognize Him. So patient.

I need to say thank you to everyone who had my family in their prayers or on the rolls at the temple or helped us move things to storage. It helped so much. I appreciate it immensely. As things get figured out, we'll keep you posted. So stay tuned for big changes.

training

2010-06-13T14:25:00.001-04:00

I am officially training for a half. I am not yet committed to a marathon, but I am on board for a half. I knew if I didn't choose a race, time would pass with me half-heartedly training and I would regret the lost weeks. So.... without further ado I announce to you my race of choice - Montour Trail Half Marathon on September 11 in glamorous Pittsburgh, PA. I chose Pittsburgh because of its equidistance for my sister and I. It is 87 days away roughly 12 weeks from Saturday. A dear friend and supporter in UT is helping me with weekly fitness plans and moral support. I also have friends in UT who are in training themselves for a race on the same day. I am excited and feeling motivated. I have two additional races picked out for the fall, but I will keep those under wraps for now. On my mark...

A challenge or rather an invitation

2010-05-27T03:33:00.000-04:00

Life has been crazy lately and I've been a slacker at blogging the last few months. I've pretty well kept everything else up and running, except sadly my own running pursuits. Since the end of April I have been encouraging or rather forcing, Et (my 12 yr. old for those of you who don't know) to run with me. This has been done under the guise of helping him with his Personal Fitness merit badge. Don't get me wrong, he needs to be exercising regularly, running even, but maybe not so much and maybe not with his mom. See, the thing is, I have no one to run with here in Bal'more. I've been hoping that running would grow on him, but it just isn't. Case in point: The other day as we walked the dog past the park that we run at sometimes, he said "Mom, this place has some of the best and worst memories for me." I asked him what the best was and rather than recount his answer I'll just let you decide what a 12-yr. old would like best and you can go with that. Then I asked what the worst was and he replied "running". Ahhh! Seriously smalls - you're killin' me! Needless to say, my cunning scheme isn't going according plan.

Yesterday a friend, with whom I once trained, posted the need to sign up for a race to get her moving again. It seems she and I have both become derailed in our running endeavors. (This is the part where everything gets all wavy as I think back in time to a memory.) I think I first began to love running with her. Our running styles were so different and so helpful to the other. She was a little slower, but always consistent. She didn't like to push it so hard that we would have to stop and walk. She was and is steady. Steady is a very good word to describe her in general. I, on the other hand, like to run fast and hard. I end up walking more because of it. I am varied. In most cases this wouldn't be a big deal, but when we were running partners (6+ years ago) we were tethered together with an ipod. We had one between us and one set of headphones and we had to keep the same pace or the buds would pop right out of our ears. It was pretty slick really. (Memory complete.) Her post got me thinking about this idea of signing up for a race. She was looking for a running partner - and chances are she'll find one among her many peeps - but I am hoping to be a homeless gypsy* this summer and will therefore only have myself and my reluctant 12-yr. old to partner with. Enter the long-distance running partner(s) idea... Formulate a plan... Post it on the blog at on unholy hour.

I'm issuing an invitation. It is simply this: I am inviting anyone and everyone who wants to join me in a race to do so. I realize many of you reading this live 2000 miles away, so the race itself may be run apart, but we will train together. My goal is a half-marathon. The last time I ran a half was years ago. I trained for that one alone and it was tough, but I did it. I am only running 5k distances currently, so I will start my training from there. We don't have to follow the same regime, or even run the same distance (as many of you are already in top-notch shape), but I would like to keep each other apprised of our efforts and accomplishments. With a preliminary look at my timeframe, I am going to look for a race occurring sometime from mid-August to mid-September. My initial list has 5 potentials with 2 more in the latter part of September. I found this website helpful in locating potential races.

Wouldn't it be great to have a group of people spread far and near training together, encouraging one another, cheering the others on in their goals? I'd love it if you'd join me. I'd love to hear about your adventures. I'd love your motivating words. I think it would be pretty darn fantastic, but regardless of who's on board I just want you all to know, I am now officially in training.

On your mark...

We're Alive!

2010-05-18T14:23:00.000-04:00

Breathe in, then out. Again. That's what I have been doing for the last few months. Trying to stay calm and levelheaded. The blog has suffered, but sanity is mostly intact. I may or may not get back posts done, but let me fill you in on the latest.

Jon graduated! He now has a Masters of Fine Art(MFA)! We're finished! Well... for a minute anyway.

At commencement Jon was awarded a fellowship studio space for a year. The official award is MFA Fellowship Studio at the Bromo Seltzer Tower. I am certain many of you have no idea what the Tower is all about, so I'll do the work for you and you can just click here to see get the details. Basically he is given a studio space, rent free for 12 months. During the year, each month has an open-studio day where the public can come through the building, tour the studios, talk with the artists, see plays and purchase or commission art. It's a great opportunity and it gives Jon somewhere to paint besides the basement of whatever place we rent next. Of note: The building was modeled after the Palazzo Vecchio, an amazingly beautiful building we passed every day when we were in Florence, Italy. Talk about a place to be inspired!

See the similarity? Pretty neat.

So for today, know that we are alive. We're just packing, free-cycling, recycling, cleaning, planning, playing, working, looking, praying, hoping, helping, and loving life in general. In short, we're still here. Don't give up on us, that includes you Ms. Crane.

its the little things...

2010-02-18T15:18:00.000-05:00

I admired this little beauty while visiting the gallery space at Jon's studio during the Christmas break. I wanted it so much Jon had to talk me out of swiping it right off the wall. Weeks later, for no apparent reason he brought it home to me (with a blessing from the previous owner).

Now it's mine.

It's the simple things in life that make me smile.

I now enjoy the soft glow of electric sex in my kitchen.

and Ralphy is alive in my heart all year long.

Snowed In

2010-02-11T14:19:00.000-05:00

Last Friday a big storm system came through town. We were headed back from VA when it rolled in. It dropped nearly two feet of snow before it was finished. Then a few days later, another system blew through leaving maybe six inches more. And in the last 36 hours we got another 12+ inches. Needless to say, we're not going anywhere for awhile. We haven't been going anywhere for the last five days. Here's how the snow has effected us in that time:

church last week - cancelled
stake conference this week - postponed
power bill - doubled (as if it wasn't already scary enough)
MICA(Jon's school) - closed all but one day in the last seven
Members' night at the Nat'l Aquarium - cancelled
violin lessons - cancelled
youth basketball - cancelled
youth Temple trip - postponed
friends' birthday party - postponed twice
waistline - expanding
sense of time - gone

I feel like I have had five Saturdays in a row. I have to check my phone to see what day it is. It feels like Christmas break all over again. Is it really Thursday today?

This is a how we've been filling the hours...

snowshoeing around our neighborhood

the makings of a snowcave

homemade valentines

Et's neverending supply of legos

too many gingersnaps

games, games and more games

a couple of good books

watch instantly - as no movies are getting to us through the mail

we're memorizing the Gettysburg address and making homemade lightsabers

Et torturing Claudio with bionocles

In short, we've been getting up late, eating gallons of soup, reading, bundling into snow clothes for hours of outside play, reading, drinking gallons of cocoa, watching tons of movies, reading, playing games, doing little schoolwork and loving most every minute of it. I mean, how often are you truly snowed in?!

Gingersnap Throwdown Results

2010-02-10T15:46:00.002-05:00

This was a tough one! I think because I love gingersnaps so much I expect more from this cookie. First the background...

Six recipes. Three from cookbooks. Three from individuals. Finished product: 28 dozen cookies!
Let me introduce you to the contenders, in no particular order.

1 - Martha Stewart's Baking Handbook
2 - Alton Brown's I'm Just Here for More Food
3 - Judy Brown's from Favorites cookbook
4 - Ingrid's
5 - Adrienne's
6 - Bridget's

I'll tell you right now, I could not pick one. It came down to the final decision from everyone. Let me just say, I will be keeping more than one recipe.

#1 - Martha

Dough - This recipe was the only one to use fresh ginger. It resulted in a very strong ginger flavor. It was only one of two to use dark brown sugar as well. This recipe called for 1/4 t. black pepper which I thought gave it a nice kick. It needed chilling and I found the proposed cooking time to be far too long for my liking. I believe the intended result was a much crunchier cookie, but I prefer mine chewy, so I decreased it by almost half.

Cookie - Jon didn't like how the surface cracked but I thought it looked as a traditional gingersnap ought to; maybe a little on the flat side. It had a chewy consistency that we all liked. Jon didn't like the "hairs" from the fresh grated ginger. I didn't notice them. Far and away this cookie had the strongest ginger flavor of the bunch.

#2 - Alton

Dough - Crystalized ginger set this recipe apart from the others. It also needed overnight chilling and was done so rolled into logs and wrapped in wax paper.

When it came time for baking this was the only cookie to forgo the traditional sugar coating and instead preferred to be sliced and left bare.

Cookie - The texture of this cookie was almost crunchy but still chewy; not dry. It had a strong ginger flavor. The color was paler than I usually like and due to the rolling there was a slightly flattened edge. The crystallized ginger chunks were a nice touch though.

#3 - Judy

I'll be honest and brief. These were everyone's least favorite. The dough was bland; the cookie too crunchy. It tasted less like a gingersnap than all the others. Unfortunately it also produced the largest batch. Finally on a positive note, it was a nice looking, consistently shaped and colored cookie.

#4 - Ingrid

Dough - A tasty dough. Easy to work with. Needed no chilling. This was the only dough to use vegetable oil.

Cookie - The flavor was a very traditional gingersnap flavor. It had a very nice appearance and a perfectly chewy texture. The baking time was shorter than all the others by a minute or two per batch.

#5 - Adrienne

I have had these before from Adrienne and they tasted much better than I was able to produce. The dough was very sticky and soft, needed chilling and tricky to work with. The cookie was flat in both texture and flavor. I wish I knew how Adrienne achieved the results she achieved, but alas I do not.

#6 - Bridget

Dough - This recipe produced a large batch. It was the only recipe to use butter and shortening and both white and brown sugar. Of note was the fact that traditional white sugar was replaced with turbando (raw sugar) for the rolling. I rolled larger balls than most of the other recipes and still came out with 6+ dozen cookies.

Cookie - A large, attractive cookie. It was extra chewy, but with an added crunch from the turbando coating. The taste, mellow. We all loved the raw sugar touch.

Final result? Let me explain...

We chose #2 (Alton's) as the overall winner based on its wonderful ginger flavor, the added texture from the crystalized ginger and the wonderful chewy consistency. Even though it needed to be made ahead, I liked that the baking prep was so simplified. No rolling, just slice and bake. And no rolling means less sugar and less mess. I have given you two links to get this recipe. This is a great site. This one easier to read and print.

We also loved #6 (Bridget's). The taste was more mellow. The raw sugar was a fabulous addition. It too had a very pleasing chewy texture.

4 cups flour

1/2 tsp. salt

2 1/4 tsp. baking soda

2 tsp. ground ginger

1 1/4 tsp. cinnamon

1 1/4 tsp. cloves

1/2 cup butter

1/2 cup shortening

3/4 cup white sugar

3/4 cup brown sugar

2 large eggs

1/2 cup + 2 TBS molasses

1/4 cup raw sugar (I used closer to 1 cup.)

Preheat oven to 325 F. In a large bowl whisk flour through cloves. In another bowl with mixer, beat butter, shortening and sugars until light and fluffy. Beat in eggs one at a time and then molasses, mixing well. Gradually beat in flour and combine well. Form large walnut sized balls and roll in sugar. Arrange balls 3" apart. Bake cookies for 13 minutes or until puffed and golden.(I baked for 11 minutes.) They should still be soft. Transfer to racks to cool.

In addition I personally liked the flavor of #1. The fresh ginger was so refreshing and intense.

2 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
3/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 sticks (3/4 cup) unsalted butter, room temperature
1 1/4 cups packed dark-brown sugar
1/4 cup unsulfured molasses
1 1/2 tablespoon finely grated, peeled ginger (one 3-inch piece)
1 large egg
1/4 cup granulated sugar

In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, baking soda, cinnamon, cloves, pepper, and salt; set aside.

In a large bowl, beat butter, brown sugar, molasses, and ginger on medium-high speed until light and fluffy. Beat in the egg until smooth and combined. Add flour mixture, and beat on low until just combined. Transfer dough to a bowl and wrap in plastic; refrigerate until well chilled, about 1 hour or overnight.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Line two large baking sheets with parchment paper. Shape dough into 1-inch balls. Place granulated sugar in a shallow bowl; roll balls in sugar until completely coated, and place about 2 inches apart on the prepared sheets (as cookies spread).

Bake for 15-18 minutes (I baked mine for 9-10 minutes so they would be chewier). Transfer cookies to a wire rack to cool completely. Cookies can be kept in an air-tight container at room temperature for up to 4 days.

So for my personal library I will be keeping #'s 1&2, as they are found in cookbooks I currently use. I will also be adding #6 to my personal library.

In my opinion, any gingersnap recipe would be made better with the addition of crystallized ginger and the exchange of white sugar (used in rolling) for raw.

(This is what I look like at 11:00pm after baking for hours.)

550 Pages

2010-02-02T18:41:00.002-05:00

I'll keep it brief. I finished The Book Thief yesterday. As I read the book, especially the last 150+ pages, I wept. I had to put the book down more than once because I couldn't see the words through the tears. When I closed the book, I was exhausted and filled. I cannot say enough good about The Book Thief. It is an amazing book, comprised of beautifully written passages and perfectly crafted storytelling. Markus Zusak weaves a tale that changed words into tangible things. I am buying a copy of my own so I can underline and mark the passages that jumped off the page at me, of which there were many.

In short, I highly recommend this book. Have you read it yet? What are you waiting for?!

First throwdown of the year - Gingersnaps

2010-01-31T19:06:00.000-05:00

Its that time again - THROWDOWN time baby!! I'm ready to give it another go and I have chosen gingersnaps this time 'round. If you have a recipe to throw into the ring, send it my way by Friday. I will take up to ten recipes and I already have three so you'd better hurry up if you want in. Let the games begin...

Resolutions and Relationships

2010-01-16T10:54:00.000-05:00

I have been trying to decide what I want out of this new year. My mind has been spinning the idea around like a clothing dryer on an endless cycle. I set goals. I usually do. I feel good about them. There are five. I could add more, but I'm not going to. I'm baby-stepping it this year. I know I can accomplish them all and I think they will each challenge me in different ways.

But the goals don't sum up what I want from 2010. What is it that I want? What matters to me most? I spend a heck of a lot of time worrying/thinking about money, homeschool, the future (in relation to Jon finding a job), lessons/sports for my kids, my calling, my pant size and lots of other random things. There are important elements in all of those things, but most of those things are simply that - things. They aren't lasting. Yes my children's education is important as are their extra activities. Money is necessary as is a job. My pants size? I would like it to be smaller but in reality it isn't something that needs to be mingling with the more important thoughts in my mind. What is it them that should garner my attention?

This is what had me up last night lying in bed listening to my man breathe evenly beside me. Finally, my mind found something clear in the chaos. One word: Relationships. Simple right? Okay maybe not, but just what I was looking for anyway. I want to improve the relationships in my life this year. I am going to invest myself more fully, honestly and genuinely than I have in the past. Some relationships are already good, strong and healthy and still I know they would benefit from a little more attention on my part. Others, I struggle to feel okay with. I don't have much of a relationship with my father Rod. I need to change that. He may not be capable of contributing much at this point, but I certainly am. There are others too I have let fall by the wayside and with just a little more effort they could be wonderful again too.

So in addition to my five little goals and my ongoing mantra to simplify! simplify! simplify!, I am going to strengthen the relationships in my life. They are absolutely the most important things in my life. Without them I would be lost. I would not be me. It just wouldn't be worth it.

Simplify! Simplify! Simplify!

2010-01-01T10:54:00.001-05:00

My new mantra. What'd ya think? It's a good one right?! I can hardly call it new to me though. It's something I try to live by already, but lately it seems I've gotten caught up the craziness of this world and I needed to remind myself again.

In trying to simplify, I always find myself creating more chaos than I resolve. This time, I am doing two things differently. First off, I am a list maker. My mother is a list maker and I am guessing that is where I got it from. This isn't something I have loved about myself because I never feel like I finish a list - NEVER!! I just about get there and then I revise and add and start all over again. Also, the lists I make are all over the place. Short-term to-do's mixed with things that will span months. So this time I am changing it up a bit. I am making lists that make sense. I have a list of things that will take less than a week and things that are more long-term.

Sugar Cookie Throwdown

2009-12-01T21:04:00.003-05:00

Here's the low down on the throwdown: Five, really six*, contenders this time. Mixed and chilled last night, baked today. Three called for butter, one for butter and shortening, another straight shortening and finally we substituted butter in the recipe that called for only shortening to see how it turned out.

Check out E's face. I think he's under the impression this is a test.

Jen did the mixing of all the doughs and made few alterations, which I will note. She also did nearly all of the rolling while I took notes as to the nature of the different doughs. We did three runs per recipe. First, 1/8" roll. Next, 1/4". And finally a reroll at the ideal thickness of 3/16". We did this to see how well the dough performed at different thicknesses and then rerolled, which was really telling. Now remember ladies and gents, this is coming straight from a professional and let me just say, she knows her cookies.

The cookies were all different and tasty. It was a tough decision. Let me tell you how it played out...

#1 - Better Homes and Gardens submitted by Ingrid
Dough:
Pros - All thicknesses rolled nicely.
It was easy to work with and ready to roll straight from the fridge.
Very little flour was needed in rolling.
High marks all around.
Cons - The dough tore easily

Cookie:
Pros - Kept its shape pretty well, little puffing.
Baking time/temp. needed no alteration or adjustment.
The reroll produced a still chewy, not too tough cookie.
Cons - It was a little on the sweet side.
Not much of a crumble to the cookie; almost too moist if that makes sense.

Overall: A chewy, slightly nutty cookie. A very practical, easy to work with kind-of dough. The almond extract was a nice touch.

#2 - Martha Stewart
Dough:
Pros - All thicknesses rolled nicely.
Very easy to work with. Dough was firm/stiff in rolling and cutting.
Almost no flour was needed in rolling.
High marks all around.
Cons - Tears easily
Needed time out of the fridge before rolling.

Cookie:
Pros - Cookie held its shape beautifully, almost no distortion in baking.
Texture reminded me of shortbread with a nice crumble to it.
Reroll produced a cookie nearly identical to the original.
Baking time/temp. were consistent with no adjustments needed.
Cons - None

Overall: Color and texture were given the highest marks. This dough by far the easiest to work with. These were first pick for two tasters.
One alteration: Recipe called for cognac, which I don't have or use. Lemon extract was substituted.

#3 - Eggnog Sugar Cookies submitted by Azure
Dough:
Pros - Rolls easily.
Nicely textured dough
No tearing
Cons - 1/8" roll stuck to the board, but 1/4" was much easier to work with.
Sticky dough - needed flipping while rolling the dough to keep it from sticking
Needed more flour in rolling.

Cookie:
Pros - A softer cookie.
Cons - Very much a holiday cookie, not for year-round use. Medium distortion to shapes in baking. Baking time needed to be decreased a bit to prevent overbaking.

Overall: You could definitely taste the eggnog in these cookies resulting in a very unique flavor. Very festive. The color was a little different, with an almost peachy-tint to it, due to the eggnog no doubt. These were E's first pick.
One alteration: This recipe made a huge batch. We halved it.

#4 - Sugar Cookies submitted by Ronna
Dough:
Pros - Very soft texture.
Delicious dough.
Cons - A fragile dough that was tricky to work with.
Very sticky, needing lots of flour to roll out.
Dough wouldn't go back together easily for the reroll.

Cookie:
Pros - Made an enormous amount of cookies, even with the batch halved.
Baking time/temp. needed no adjustments.
Cons - Shapes were greatly distorted in baking.
A little bland, especially compared to dough flavor.

Overall: A very cake-like texture, fluffier than the others. The flavor was subtle could support a more generous amount of frosting than the others, similar to a "Granny B's" type of cookie. It was the most difficult to work with but had the softest texture, all due to the sour cream called for in the recipe.
*One alteration: We substituted butter for shortening in a second batch and the results we very similar, only noting more of a crumble in the butter version.

#5 - Lionhouse Sugar Cookies submitted by Loree
Dough:
Pros - Firm dough.
Easy to work with.
Rerolled dough was still good to work with.
Holds cut shape well.
Cons - Almost too dry.

Cookie:
Pros - Little distortion in shape after baking.
Baking time/temp. needed no adjustments.
Cons - None

Overall: The classic sugar cookie. Slightly crunchy exterior. Not too sweet. Holds its shape well. Easy to work with. This was the only cookie that was in all testers' top three.
One alteration: The milk (2T.) was inadvertently left out, probably making it drier than it would have been.

You can see the difference in how each cookie kept its shape during baking.

The one in the middle (#2) performed the best in this test.

The winner, and a close one at that, #5 Lionhouse. This classic cookie was near perfect in all areas. It was tasty all on its own and would also be delicious with frosting. It looked great after multiple rollings and was very easy to work with.

The winner - Lionhouse (#5)

And of course this is all, well mostly, based on opinion. You probably love the recipe you use or you wouldn't be using it. I have found the new recipe(s) I will be using (#2 for me, #5 for the fam) which was the point to all of this. Thanks to all who submitted and allowed their recipe to be scrutinized. I'll let you know when I muster up the strength to do another throwdown. Perhaps in January. Let me know what perfect recipe you are looking for and I'll consider it for the next one.

Finally! It is finished. Thanks to my sis Jen, the (pastry) chef, we accomplished a huge feat. So go bake a batch already would you?!

**Sorry everyone. I neglected to post the recipes earlier. The winner, Lionhouse, is now linked (above) to a blog with the identical recipe posted already. I can't vouch for the frosting recipe though. I am posting the Martha Stewart recipe (my #1 pick) and the eggnog recipe below. If you want the others, let me know and I'll email them directly to you. Thanks for your patience.

Martha's
1/2 lb. (2 sticks) unsalted butter
3/4 cup sugar
2 large egg yolks
1 t. vanilla extract
1 T. orange liqueur or cognac (I used lemon extract)
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 t. baking powder
pinch of salt

Heat oven to 350 F. Line a baking sheet with parchment. In the bowl of an electric mixer, beat butter and sugar on medium-high speed until smooth, about 2 minutes. Add yolks and beat until fluffy, 2 to 3 minutes. Beat in vanilla and liqueur(extract). Add flour, baking powder, and salt and mix, beginning on low speed and increasing to medium, until flour is just incorporated.

Turn dough out onto a clean surface and divide evenly into 2 portions. Flatten each half to a 1-inch thick disk, wrap in plastic, and refrigerate for at least an hour.

Lightly flour a clean surface. Roll dough to 1/4 inch thick and cut into shapes. (Scraps can be combined and rolled one more time.) Bake until golden, 10 to 15 minutes. Remove cookies to a wire rack to cool.

Azure's Eggnog Cookies (direct from Azure)

2 cups butter, softened
2 cups sugar
2 eggs
1 cup egg nog
2 tsp vanilla
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
5 1/2 cups flour

Cream butter and sugar. Add vanilla and eggs and egg nog. Add flour, soda and salt. Mix. I usuallly put in the fridge for 1/2 hour or so to firm up before rolling out. But whatever works for you :)! This makes a LOT of cookies, I usually cut it in 1/2...if it's too wet, just add a bit more flour...happy cookie making!

This is why

2009-11-16T18:33:00.001-05:00

Some days I wonder why I homeschool my kids. I never planned it. It wasn't my dream. I'm not a super ambitious person who thought I could give my kids an "edge" by teaching them at home. Life threw me a curve ball when we moved to Baltimore. It made me look at things a little differently than I had in the past. It made me want to protect and shelter my short people more than I ever had before. I recognize all of that. Still..... there are options. I see that now more than I did initially. I could have done something else. I still could I guess.

I won't lie to you. It's tough. Sometimes it's bang-your-head-against-a-wall tough. I want to scream somedays. Heck, who am I kidding? I do scream somedays. But... still. I wake up every morning, put on my teaching cap and "go to work".

Today I remembered why. This is why.

Not the clearest picture, but you get the gist.

(Middle of the day, she finds the spent plumeria leaves and decides she wants to wear them while she finishes math.

When they got too heavy, she moved on to a lion mask.)

For now, I am going to keep on doing what I do. I threaten to quit at least once a week, but I may never have the chance to spend this kind of time with my kids again. I love my shorties. So if you ever wonder why I do this every day just like I have for the past 15 months - now you know. This is why.

Sugar Cookie Throwdown - Call for Entries

2009-11-12T18:53:00.000-05:00

Hey all! I'm ready for another throwdown challenge. I know what you're thinking... so soon? Yep. I have holidays on the brain already and I plan on baking all my holiday sugar cookies next week to freeze ahead. But I need to find the best recipe out there before I can do that. If you think yours has got what it takes, shoot me the recipe so I can get the ingredients. I'm going to put a cap on entries at 12 total. I have four already, so hurry, hurry, hurry! Actual baking will happen sometime early next week so don't delay.

Banana Bread Throwdown

2009-11-10T18:08:00.000-05:00

First, the freezer in my kitchen was overflowing with bananas. (I freeze them when they are fully to over-ripened and then thaw when I am ready for baking. You probably do the same thing, right?) Yesterday I took inventory of the banana population and it was out of control. There were 16 hiding out in various nooks and crannies and I am convinced they were breeding. I simply don't remember putting that many in the freezer.

The other thing that spurred this throwdown was the recipe problem I have been battling for too long. I simply have too many recipes - good ones. The cookie selection is out of control too. Soups and salads galore! Crock-pot ideas, difficult to sift through them all. Don't get me started on sweet breads... They're on scraps of paper, torn out of magazines, covered in fallout from repeated use and generally a mess.

Yesterday the overflowing banana population combined with the cornucopia of recipes for which to turn them into bread was the final straw. I simply had to have a throwdown.

Here's the set up: five recipes with little to no alteration of the recipe - ok, so I added chocolate chips to all but one recipe as per Jon's request - and one evening. We judged on taste, texture, appearance and then rated it overall.

Let me look at my notes...
#1, Martha Stewart Baking Handbook

Probably a little overdone even though it was baked according to the directions. This one had coconut and pecans but no chocolate. It was the only one with coconut. It had a chewy texture that we liked. It was the only recipe where I toasted the nuts before adding them to the batter, as per the recipe. It made for a more noticeable flavor prompting everyone to give them a thumbs-up.

#2, Alton Brown (my hero), I'm Just Here for More Food cookbook

I like Alton's approach, mixing his baking knowledge with a slightly unique set of ingredients. This was the only recipe calling for almond extract. In addition to all-purpose flour he also used oat flour (which I didn't have). My substitution - ww flour instead. This recipe produced a very moist product. Jon felt there was too much chocolate (as if that's possible). E and I really liked this one.

#3, Old Fashioned Family Cookbook

I got this cookbook as a wedding present. Honestly, the only recipe I have ever used from it is the banana bread recipe. I have used this recipe a lot though and have been pleased with the results in general. However, I felt like it was drier than #2, which I don't prefer. The flavor was unremarkable. Jon liked that it was drier as he wants to eat his with a mug of milk in tow.

#4, Kristens' recipe via Ingrid - (we just call it The Ingrid around here)

This resulted in a very moist loaf. Et liked that a lot. It wasn't as sweet as the others which I liked. There were no nuts, as per the recipe. It was the only one without nuts actually. I think adding them would really give it a boost. Jon felt it was a little boring in comparison to the others, but agreed the nuts would greatly improve it.

#5, Bonn. 3rd Ward Cookbook courtesy J. Matthews

Another moist loaf. It made two full loaves which was more than the others. E liked the flavor of this one. I felt, in comparison, it was not quite as tasty or unique as some of the others.

I finished too late last night to have the judging, so it went down this morning at the breakfast table. Poor family.

After tallying up the scores, we came to a tie decision. Drum roll please - da da da da da da da da!!
The winners: (#2) Alton's and (#4) The Ingrid. Both were very moist. E and I especially liked the almond extract component in #2. I liked that the #4 was not too heavy on the sweet factor.

And to finish things off - I sliced the loaves, packed them into containers and sent them off to the freezer to be consumed at a later time. Don't worry, I left some slices out for the family to munch on now.

The recipes:

(#2) Alton's. (Someone else had already typed it in, so I just linked you to them.) This is the recipe straight from the book. Now do you see why I am smitten with Alton? I like that he gives it to you in weights and measurements. Two things: I disagree with the claim that these were better without the almond extract, but I am a sucker for the almond, so who knows... maybe they're right. Also, you absolutely DO NOT line your pan with wax paper. Parchment people! Parchment! They are not the same. Don't learn the hard way. Let me repeat - parchment. Okay, whew! I agree with every thing else. I used pecans in my batch and I used my paddle attachment instead of a potato masher. About the bananas... My bananas have been a sorry sight scarier than the pictures they had and I think they are better that way. In my humble opinion, the darker they are, the sweeter they taste.

(#4) The Ingrid.

4 very ripe bananas
1 c. sugar
1 egg
4 T. butter, melted
Beat those together.
Add:
1 and 1/2 c. flour
1 t. salt
1 t. soda
Beat just til mixed, not more.
Grease loaf pan.
Bake at 350 for 50-60 min or til done.
Best warm!
One of the best things is that you can do this with a small bowl (to melt the butter in), 1/2 c. measuring cup for the flour and sugar, and a 1 t. spoon. Very few dirty things to wash when done!
If you want the runner-up recipes, let me know. Oh, and the Old Fashioned Cookbook is already in the pile destined for the thrift store. One down, 10,000 to go. Oh well.

New Resolve on a Pretty Typical Sunday

2009-11-01T19:38:00.000-05:00

Today started out nicely, turned ugly for a short time right before church but only got better and has actually been peaceful and wonderful to this point. I taught RS today and I think it went well. We had a lot of visitors/investigators at church today. The flu had many 'regulars' not in attendance. I always feel so tall when I teach. I think it must be the combination of me in heels, hitting somewhere in the 5'10-11" range and a seemingly very short table to stand behind. And of course, I finished the lesson bearing testimony in tears, something I always do despite my best efforts (the tears part, not the testimony). Still, I had a wonderful time preparing and formed a new resolve to live my life better and not waste so much time. I feel like making 'New Years' Resolutions' starting tomorrow instead of waiting two months. I just need to take baby steps. (Remind me of that when I'm feeling overwhelmed, would you?)

After church, the kids and I read a few chapter in Moroni and discovered we will finish the Book of Mormon in the morning. It has been a wonderful journey, all of us reading together, taking part in the task. I look forward to reading it again and this time spending more time studying with the kids and working on scripture mastery verses instead of just reading with a bit of discussion.

I have spent much of this afternoon reading. I curled up in my room and enjoyed looking out my bedroom window. I realized that I love the view from my bedroom window. I loved it in Provo and I love it here. I see trees turning gold and a nest in the bare branches near the top. In the top corner of my view, there is the edge of a nearby building and I smile at the fact that I live in this amazing city and yet I can lay in my bed and feel like I could be anywhere. I laid in bed for awhile reading but decided I wanted to be out with the fam, so I moved to the kitchen to read awhile longer while the cake rose in the warm oven. (Jon and I made a cake from a recipe he found on the Times.) I've never made a cake with yeast as the leavening agent, but it smells yummy.

We broke our fast with an old favorite of mine, creamed tuna and peas on toast. I know, it sounds a little nasty and to be honest, it really doesn't look super appetizing, but oh my! it is tasty grub. My mom made it when I was a kid, thus transporting me to a time when I felt unencumbered by responsibility and stress. My kids cleared their plates. I love when they do this and I can see that they love what I have made. This wasn't one of those times, rather they had been fasting and were terribly hungry. Anyway, it really doesn't matter to me why. I'm just happy to not hear complaining or scrutinizing through a meal.

The cake is just out of the oven and I am going to serve it up warm, so I'll be off. This week is sure to be a good one. The kids and I are revamping school a bit. We'll finish and start the Book of Mormon. I am planting a friends' backyard. Jon and I are jumpstarting our workout beginning tomorrow morning. All in all, I look forward to a new week and all that it brings. I hope your week is great and your outlook sunny.

Project Month - Day 26 & 27 Applesauce and more Pumpkin Bread

2009-10-27T17:02:00.000-04:00

I am too tired to post pics. I may add a few later. It's just been one of those days.

Day 26 - Impromptu applesauce making last night. Looks lovely and is as delicious as "nectar from heaven" according to Jon.

Day 27 - More pumpkin bread. Made six, but only three made it to the freezer before being eaten or given away. Chocolate chip cookies with the works tonight. Hopeful a greater percentage will make it into the freezer than the pumpkin bread.

I'm tired. I want cocoa.

New Additions

2009-10-22T23:59:00.001-04:00

This month has been a busy one in the niece and nephew department. My brother, B, and his wife Cindy welcomed #6 into their family on the 10th. His name, as far as I know - and I could be wrong - is Kevin. I can't believe their little family is not so little anymore. Congrats to them, especially to Cindy as she never delivers on time! Baby #5, Alivia Estelle, made her debut - after a tough labor - on the 19th in Steev and Tam's family. (I thought that name was correct, but I am looking at an email from Steev from earlier today and he said it was Alicia not Alivia.) Who knows? Not important really though. What is important is that they are all healthy and safe and well.

As most of you know, I have two amazing kids. For some unknown reason, I have not been able to have more. In the past, hearing of others new additions has been difficult. Heck, learning about the pregnancies was hard. The last year has changed that for me. I don't know why exactly. Point is, it doesn't hurt so much anymore. I feel happy, joyful even, to hear the wonderful news from friends and family now. My heart doesn't ache as badly as it once did when I think that Sis will never have little brothers or sisters to take care of or that E will never have a little brother to teach the fine art of Lego building to. Even though as I write this I am choked up, I admit it is somehow easier now. We live in a ward with very few older kids and many more little ones. Most of the families we are friends with here have children younger than Sis and E. My sister Lou has two little ones that we love to be with too. They have become those little brothers and sisters my children don't get to have right now. They are being taught the art of Lego's by E and being carried around by Sis. They are the ones I get to carry on my back while hiking through the woods and listen to their chatter when they come into our home. God has blessed me with lots of little children and more importantly He has blessed me with two of the most amazing ones of my own. I am blessed to be spending my days with them and watching them become the most interesting and wonderful people. I couldn't ask for anything more than I already have.

So I say congratulations to my dear brothers and sisters on their new additions. And congrats to other friends - you know who you are - on their big news too! I love you all and feel blessed to have each of you in my life.

A Beautiful Spontaneous Day in Western Maryland

2009-10-22T18:39:00.083-04:00

I love my friend Dalynn. She is always good for an adventure. A truly spontaneous kinda gal. One day we're talking about heading to western Maryland for a day trip and the next thing I know - we're there. She's just like that. Pack up the cars with kids, cameras and snacks and we're on our way.

About an hour and 20 minutes from Baltimore is a little town called Middleton. It has a charming little main street that was lined with scarecrows for a mile or more from the various civic clubs in town. Just outside of town is the Washington Monument State Park. Check it out. An absolutely beautiful place to spend an autumn day. Halfway up the trail to the small monument is a connecting point for the Appalachian Trail.

After hiking for an hour or so, we decided to try and find another state park, Greenbrier. And find it we did. Let me just say, we could not have planned a more perfect day. Here it is, late October, and the weather was mid 70's and clear as ever.

We had the beach to ourselves. If I had know there was a beach and a lake on our outing, I would have brought a suit. It was that warm. The leaves were glorious and vibrant; the water cool. We wandered about finally relaxing on the dock before heading up the hill for the drive home.

With bike trails, hiking, canoeing, swimming, camping and fishing all in one locale with flush toilets and showers to boot, I know where we're going to spend many a weekend next summer.

Project Month - Day 21 - Pumpkin Dump Cake

2009-10-21T07:52:00.001-04:00

Today was an easy one.

It may not be pretty, but it sure is tasty!

Project Month - Day 20 - My Favorite Wreath, Renewed

2009-10-20T17:46:00.001-04:00

Jon bought me this wreath years ago at a great little shop in SLC. Originally it was stunning - seriously a beauty. However after years of hanging outdoors on my front porch, it looked tired. It needed a little TLC.

Just black I love it!

Yes, that is a little skeleton man hanging from a noose in the center. C'mon! It's Halloween! It's supposed to be scary.

First idea, spray it to be red again. I decided against this, feeling it would lose something, as it was never painted in the first place. Second and better idea, paint it black for Halloween then later silver for the remainder of the holidays. I finished the black layer this afternoon, using an entire can of spray paint. I added a few random skeletons I had lying around and for now, I'm finished.

I like the (for now) finished product and in a few weeks I'll give it a coat of silver to cover the black.

Fall Break in Virginia

2009-10-19T23:57:00.005-04:00

No projecting this weekend! Good bye Baltimore. Hello Purcellville.

Sis' face is priceless!

Jays and Jon have been friends for over 30 years!

We got to spend the weekend with friends in VA. It was rainy and cold for the first two days and I didn't care a bit. We didn't go anywhere or do anything.

I wish I had her skinny legs. What a cutie!

Okay, so we learned a few new card games, ate yummy food courtesy of Cori, went for walks, found a new way to fix popcorn - delish! and slept in. It was wonderful. Their 2 shorties and ours played together non-stop until they couldn't keep their eyes open any longer. At church we ran into a gal from BYU who had her Senior show at the same time as Jon. We even own a few of her paintings. I love how being LDS makes the world seem so small - and I mean that in a good way.

I like this pic even with E's bored expression, which he claims he wasn't feeling. My hair is getting long.

My little photographer

Today we drove up and down the country roads looking at all things beautiful. The lovely dry-stack walls were my favorite, but everything was gloriously celebrating fall. The colors were spectacular. Jon and I fell in love with the farmsteads and their many outbuildings and mature landscaping. There is this part of me that is so completely drawn to that life. Something about being from farming stock I guess.

Love...

2009-10-17T02:38:00.001-04:00

Changed to winter sheets. Weird I guess, but my mom does it and now so do I.

Love this room. Love this quilt. Love the 'I love you' heart from sis I see each night before bed. Love to linger in this bed in the morning with sis curled up next to me giggling. Love to fall asleep snuggled against Jon each night. Love the sound of rain outside this window. Love the pictures on my table of Jon and I @ graduation and the one of the kids in Venice walking with their arms around each other. Love my books. Love this room.

Don't love the cold floor.

Favorite Friday is Back with the Avett Brothers

2009-10-16T11:02:00.005-04:00

Last night Jon and I went to the Avett Brothers with our good friends the Fugals. I had listened to their latest album online and loved it. Some of their music is really mellow and others pumped up and a little rowdy. The concert - so PUMPED full of energy and totally fun! These guys were amazing!! There were four performers on stage. There are two "true" Avett Brothers, but three men make up the actual group, the third being a bassist - who also plays guitar and sings. The fourth fellow on stage played the cello like I have NEVER before seen! Both brothers played the piano, drums and guitars - acoustic and base and one played the banjo as well. Also they both do vocals. We were on the balcony above the stage left. I could not have asked for a better view. They were incredible. Pictures never capture the energy in a situation like this, nevertheless, here are a few to take a look at captured via my phone.

Check out the cellist. He was crazy amazing.

You can listen to their music on their website. They have full albums you can stream but not download. Check it out.

Project Month - Day 15 - Sweet Breads

2009-10-15T10:27:00.005-04:00

Its just so cold. I finally broke down and switched on the furnace. (Our apartment has very high ceilings and therefore costs a small fortune to heat.) As the frugal gal that I am, I had vowed to keep it off until Halloween, but this cold spell means it isn't getting above 63 in here and even with a sweater and a fleece I am chilled.

Anyway days like today are made for baking. Everyone knows that. Plus, I consider a baking oven a supplemental heat source. So today I baked.

poppyseed bread with an orange almond glaze - 7 loaves

7 poppyseed + 6 pumpkin (4 of which were still baking at this point)

grand total = 13 loaves

All said, it was a very productive day. I gave one loaf away and we ate one of each of the others, so only ten made it to the freezer. Tomorrow is supposed to be another cold day, so I may venture into the world of sugar cookies. We'll see. I'm off to see the Avett Brothers in concert tonight. Should be great!

Project Month - Day 14 -Decorating

2009-10-14T15:07:00.052-04:00

How is it October is more than halfway through already? How is it I am just now getting the Halloween decorations up? Yeah, life is like that sometimes.

I'm keeping this post short today and I'll let the pics speak for themselves. Pretty much, I love this holiday. I love its spookiness and whimsy. I love the colors and the contrast.

Mostly, I love these pumpkins which I have had for something like ten years now. Sis had a good time getting them ready for Halloween this year.

Project Month - Day 13 - Sweater Weather

2009-10-13T15:25:00.066-04:00

my "front closet"

I love this ritual that comes with the changing of the seasons. Today I celebrated the cold weather by clearing out the closets of warm weather clothes and replacing them with sweaters, scarves and knee high socks - which I am now wearing.

Coats were pulled out of the back closet and bins of thermals were unloaded into drawers. Good-bye strappy sandals, capri's and cotton skirts. Hello warm hats - one of which I am also currently wearing, wool sweaters and loads of long sleeves. The winter gear got moved to the "front closet" and it is jam-packed!

Even the jammies and workout drawers got a makeover with UnderArmour gear (a Baltimore staple), various fleece goodies and running caps.

gloves, hats, scarves

(FTR ~ it'll look like this for an hour or so and then byebye order, hello chaos. Can't say I don't try.)

It's like getting a whole new wardrobe without spending a penny. Plus, who doesn't love sweater weather?

My Beloved Reefs

2009-10-12T15:17:00.001-04:00

my favorites - reefs

I couldn't do it. I have been telling myself for weeks that my perfectly comfortable, vibrant flip-flops would be up for retirement when this day came. But I just couldn't do it. Look at them. Okay, I realize they are a little on the grungy side and to some they look like they should have been ousted a long time ago. But in their defense (and mine) check out the toe grooves. They're perfect. They're a second skin. They've been with me for so long, I can hardly remember another pair of perfect flip-flops. Actually there was that pair my sister gave me - the blue ones I can't remember what brand - that I wore all over Italy, but were finally retired based on the inability to rid them of their smell. And then my beautiful green Merrills with the M on top(for Mishel) that fit so well the first time I tried them on I never wanted to take them off. I loved those shoes. Loved them! Whatever happened to them anyway?... So instead of getting tossed, my reefs went into shoe hibernation until next year when I will pull them out and wonder why I saved them all winter long until I put them back on my feet almost to hear my feet sigh and marvel at the fit and fall in love all over again. I don't know whether to say fortunately or unfortunately, but about that same time catalogs will begin to flood the house full of vibrant colorful things for summer and I will find another pair of reefs or merrills or whatevers that capture my heart and I will part with my beloved reefs and the love affair will start over with a whole new pair.

Amish Country

2009-10-06T00:27:00.003-04:00

Can you believe I forgot the camera?! It's terrible but true. All pics were taken with my phone or Jon's. I'm going to look at it as a good excuse to go back.

First we stopped in Lancaster to get a better idea of where to go. Lancaster is a nice, windy little city. We spent some time in a museum learning about printing, then picked up a map and set off for Bird-In-Hand and Intercourse in Lancaster County, PA.

Bird-in-Hand had a nice little restaurant where we got to taste some traditional Pennsylvania Dutch fare and I got my first hot cocoa of the season.

I don't have many photos to post, but my mind is flooded with pictures. I'll tell what I see. The Amish people are beautiful. But more than that, they are happy. The people we saw riding down the roads all had smiles on their faces. All of them. It was harvest time. The men were out with their teams working the fields. It was mesmerizing to watch. I could have driven around for hours, up and down the lanes just to watch them work. Their farms are well maintained and lovely to look at. Very picturesque.

Taken from the car. It was so fascinating.

The barns were filled with tobacco leaves hanging from the rafters and the vertical slats on the barns were open for ventilation. There were traditional buggies on the roads but we also noticed another form of transportation they used. Its something like a scooter and a bike combined. There were mothers with kids along for the ride, big baskets on the fronts. My favorite was the youngish sort of man in traditional clothing on a "scooter-bike" with a cordless DeWalt drill in the basket. Oh how I wish I had had my camera for that one.

(Copied from the internet)

Along the roads there are signs out in front of many of the homes. Fresh eggs, flowers, furniture, etc. We stopped by one farm and purchased some fudge and root beer. This is not the root beer your mama makes. It is made with yeast to carbonate it. Jon loved it, as did E. Honestly, I prefer a good old fashioned Weinhards. However, the fudge was very good and the woman very nice.

We stopped at an antiques store and meandered for awhile. I found a rolling pin I felt was worthy to add to my collection and a clock for my dad for Christmas. E discovered an enormous scythe, taller than himself, that he really wanted to buy. I almost did, but decided he could and probably would get himself into trouble with it. (Now I am wishing I had gotten it as it would make Halloween costuming all but done for him.) I fell in love with a bunch of vintage hats but left them there as well. The tag does in fact say $12. I should have gotten this one. Ah, the life/ budget of a student.

We went to a quilt shop that was fabulous. I wanted to take pics of everything in the store, but it was not allowed. They had these fabulous kitschy Christmas ornaments that I so wanted to copy, but - no pictures!

He did not want this pic taken. What a good sport.

Finally, we tracked down a shop known for their "Shoo-Fly Pie". Never had it? Neither had we, but we were told we couldn't leave Amish Country without sampling it. In the end we bought an entire pie (very tasty) and a couple of postcards to take home.

The longest existing covered bridge in Pa, I think.

A beautiful old grist mill, complete with functioning water-wheel.

Washington DC with G&G Stonely

2009-10-05T01:52:00.012-04:00

E taking on a bronze lion

(The National Building Museum is in the background.)

Another outing with Dan and Jeanne took us to DC. Neither one had been there in over 20? years. We hit a few new places this time.

The National Zoo was great. Its bigger than the Baltimore Zoo, but was under construction in many areas.

The Zoo has this amazing rope system called the O-line for the orangutans. They are able to move from one end of the zoo to the other, directly overhead the visitors. Amazing!

Courtesy of E

The panda exhibit was amazing!

Going up... Going down

I think the metro might have been E's favorite part of the day. It was the longest escalator I have ever been on. The pics don't do it justice.

Personally, I liked the National Building Museum. Never heard of it? I hadn't either until a friend clued me in. Its this enormous building within walking distance of the Mall. It showcases the environment around us and lets us discover it more fully. It celebrates interior design, architecture, construction, landscape architecture, urban planning and engineering. Sounds like a place for "grown-ups" but its for everyone. We will definitely be going back.

Many Inaugural Balls have been held in the Hall surrounding these colossal Corinthian columns.

Last stop for the day - the National Cathedral.

One word - Wow!

E and Sis are on the steps in front. They are just little specks.

Project Month - Day 4 - A Crown for Princess Mika

2009-10-04T13:43:00.000-04:00

Project month moves forward.

A little friend of ours had a birthday. She's this smart, matter-of-fact little person and I felt she needed a crown for her big day. This is what I came up with in a matter of hours. Not too shabby, although next time I would use wool felt instead of polyester.

Project Month - Day 3 - Conference Saturday and Scrabble Pieces

2009-10-03T12:44:00.016-04:00

I love this day. I do. What a tremendous opportunity to listen to a prophets' voice and be together all weekend.

We are all set for Conference, meaning there are ever so many bowls of sweet and savory things to eat and everyone has something to keep their hands busy while we listen. My hands will be busy with two projects.

First, my sis Loree (who has been banned from this blog for the month as we have their family for Christmas and I will be posting photos of many of their gifts) loves words. She is a boggle-nut! I am making her Scrabble magnets for her fridge as Boggle pieces are far too heavy for this. This is one of those ten minute projects that I've had everything I needed to complete - except the desire - for awhile now. Some magnets, a hot glue gun and Scrabble letters. Too easy!!

Secondly, it is October and in this house, we love Halloween almost as much as Christmas. My other project is cutting out bats. (This is a such tedious job. I am rethinking my initial decision not to buy them precut for $7/8 at Target and save more poor hands. But alas, I have time and not money, so off we go.) Little 5" baby bats to nearly 20" mama bats are going to be hanging from the ceiling. For those of you who remember the snowflakes in the dining room, I've repurposed the fishing line that has been collecting dust for the last six months and they'll be hosting bats and possibly a few ghosts for the next four weeks, although not nearly as many as there were snowflakes.

Later that day...

She'll love these. It makes me want a set of my own. All that's left is to wrap.

This one is going to take a bit more time. I need to cut more bats and ghosts, but so far I like how its looking.

Project Month - Day 2 - Mending

2009-10-02T16:44:00.003-04:00

I know. I know. Not an exciting post. It doesn't matter because I am completely jazzed to have completed this one. Today's project was all about clearing out the sewing closet to move on to more rewarding ventures. I have to tell you though, this felt pretty darn rewarding. My m-i-l, a very talented seamstress, taught me how to mend some things I had had sitting in a basket for far too long. I won't go into details because quite frankly they would put you to sleep sans pictures. (I'm afraid even pictures couldn't jazz up mending talk enough to make it exciting.) In total, we mended half-dozen things and I now know how to do them myself. Who knew it could be so easy?

Project Month - Day 1

2009-10-01T11:30:00.003-04:00

Its October! Its fall! It feels like it. And... Its project month here.

Having slacked a bit with company in town, I am way behind on my Christmas Countdown and I have some catching-up to do. I am openly copying a friend on this one because I thought it was such a great idea. Thanks Becky! Also, I'm starting this a bit late and will carry it into November to get a full month out of it. I have fit a few projects in here and there and will post pics soon. I wanted to post a list of some of the projects I am planning.

Here's the idea. I'm going to complete as many projects in the month as I can. I'm trying to complete as much of my homemade gift list as possible during this time. I'll be doing Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas. Some are finishing things up that have needed my attention for awhile - aka mending, incomplete sewing projects. There are those that will takes weeks to complete and others will take 10 minutes. A bunch will be in the sewing department and many more in the kitchen. I'm not a "crafty" person by nature, but there will be activities for the kids to do during school time that I'll post. Some of you will be the recipients of these projects aka gifts. So when Christmas rolls around and you receive one of them, act surprised.

Aquarium with G&G Stonely

2009-09-30T02:35:00.002-04:00

We love the dolphin show.

And we got thoroughly soaked this time. I mean absolutely drenched - enough to make Sis cry. It was great.

Apple Picking Time

2009-09-28T19:10:00.007-04:00

My family went home yesterday and Jon's parent's are here for a week longer. SO much to do in such a short time.

Today we went apple-picking at a farm about 30 minutes NW of us in Westminster, MD.

(He hit the 5' mark this month.)

(She's 4'4" already and fast!)

I love this shot.

I have never seen such enormous apples! They were gorgeous.

I wasn't familiar with some of the varieties, so to test them out I'd find a nice looking apple that had already fallen from the tree and eat as much I wanted then trade with Jon or the kids for whatever variety they were eating. We were so deliciously full by the time we made it back to the weigh-in station. The bees had the same idea, but they liked the ones that weren't so pretty anymore.

We love the bees.

Sis was thrilled to ride on a "train" (really a tractor pulling a trailer with covered benches) to the orchard and a haywagon back.

I would love to have had more time and more people to play hide'n'seek or tag with in the orchard.

A Little Piece of Heaven on Earth

2009-09-27T20:18:00.014-04:00

The cottage garden

It's only 25 miles from my home. I can't believe I didn't know about this before now. I love little discoveries like this one.

Its one of those things that just eludes you but when you find it, another little piece of the puzzle of who you are is made more complete. We all have our "things" that bring us joy, help us feel closer to God, and remind us of who we are. Gardens are one of my "things" and the Ladew Gardens is that kind of place for me. It makes me all squinty eyed to think about it.

The rose garden

The croquet garden

It is a magical and lovely set of gardens that wind in and out of each other with such ease. Imagine Mary Poppins, Alice and Wonderland and Italy and England all rolled into one. (At least that's what I did.)

The topiary gardens were amazing. I have never seen anything like them. What a magical space.

Let me just say, as I look at pictures and think of how I felt as I wandered about, I am filled to the brim.

Oh to have bees!

The yellow garden

My camera, nor my photography skills were able to truly capture the beauty of this place, but I tell you as I walked the grounds, I felt as though I were home. I could lose myself so easily to a place like this.

The koi pond

The iris garden

I wish I could post all the pics I took.

This place truly is a little piece of heaven. Even the house, workshop, greenhouse and garages were charming.

I am a simpleton I guess. This is what I want in life, a place where I can wander about with my heart and my hands in the soil. Tending young plants and taming the older ones. Making everything a bit better for having been there. It dawns on me now that I have exactly that living in an apartment in the city. For I am a gardener every day of my life. Already. Now. My children are those tender young plants striving to grow strong roots, needing proper nourishment and light in order to grow healthy and tall, that they might become something wonderful and glorious. Not only am I a worker in this great endeavour, but I am also a plant in this lovely garden and the Lord is the Master Gardener. You see, I am that older plant that needs taming. It's a much more difficult and tedious job to tame something rather than train it you know. Both jobs take constant vigilance but the older plant at times can grow stubborn, prickly, unwieldy. Sometimes you have to cut it back a little to give it a chance to grow properly again. The Lord does that for me. I am grateful. And I am grateful to recognize the subtle lessons he teaches me everyday, in places like this, in my home, inside of myself. Finally, whether I recognize it or not, I do have my heart and hands in the soil every day. I can choose to look at the work I have as a drudgery or a gift. If you know me at all, you know I like to get my hands dirty and I like to work hard. I think it's time I dig in with more enthusiasm and gratitude. Happy planting!

Yes, that is a rose behind my handsome husband.

Here is the stubborn older plant that has been pruned down a bit. Won't it be stunning when it's grown a bit?!

A younger plant being trained up in the way it should go. Its so vibrant!

(Sidenote: Notice the lovely grasses around the plant. They look nice, but make it trickier to get to the plant. Don't we as parents do this sometimes? Putting obstacles in our way that make it more difficult to fulfill our roles. Time to get out the spade.)

Sis' Baptism Day

2009-09-26T01:36:00.005-04:00

Sis and Jon - I've got to do something about that tie

What a wonderful day we had on Sis' baptism day. There were a few little hiccups, but nothing major. Every baptismal day has to have a story to tell later. Sis got hers too. (Ask me later and I'll tell you all about it.) Jon was great, I was uncharacteristically calm and Sis was amazing.

(Ok, so due to the little hiccup, we never got an "official" pre-baptism picture. I had them pose for one at home a few days later, hence the red cami Sis is wearing. Pretty funny actually. Jon is a good sport to do this for his mom and I.)

The fam

The most beautiful women I know.

It was such a blessing to have so many of our family there from so far away. I miss them all so much.

Cousin Day @ the Zoo

2009-09-25T02:39:00.001-04:00

We love the zoo. It's our little hangout. We had a great time sharing it with our cousins.

Not too sure about the carousel

I love this little person

Mads doing what she does best - tormenting Max

I love that we get to spend so much time with M&M. Its almost as though they are siblings not cousins. Lou is done having kids. I am done. E&E get to have the little brother and sister they never had and M&M get the same. Its a wonderful arrangement and I don't have to change diapers.

Lego Store

2009-09-24T01:32:00.000-04:00

When Mom and Lou came to town we did a little shopping...

Max and E - a joyful and monumental occasion

I have to say I think this made E"s year. His first visit, but certainly not the last. Thanks Mom!

100% Stone Ground Wheat

2009-09-20T02:57:00.000-04:00

Can you smell it?

I did it. I made a loaf of whole wheat bread that was perfect. I used only whole wheat flour and steel cut oats. It was delicious and filled me with such satisfaction. I'll definitely be making this one again.

Garden Boxes of Bolton HIll

2009-09-19T03:02:00.000-04:00

Check these beauties out! The window boxes - not the kids.

Sis in front of an urn filled with begonias and ivy.

Boxes are filled with petunias.

E getting lost in impatiens. Wow!

A Baltimore favorite - Sweet potato vines.

The residents of Bolton Hill really take pride in their homes. These are just a few of the sites to be seen where we walk everyday.

Daddy Daughter Date

2009-09-18T01:47:00.000-04:00

Jon doing his best to pose like he did in HS. Sis so excited she's about to jump out of her own skin.

Daddy-daughter dates are the best!

Jon took Sis to dinner and then dancing at the annual DDDance in our LDS stake here. They really go above and beyond. I've never seen anything like it. The cultural hall aka gymnasium was transformed. There was a disco ball hanging from the ceiling. The floor had been made to look like cobblestones. The tables were set in a round and in the center was dancing. They had a violinist playing during dinner and dance instructors to help afterwards. They even got their pictures taken (just like HS) to take home.

At one point while they were dancing Jon said Sis was looking at her feet, counting out the steps and he reminded her to look up at him and not her feet, like the instructor had told them. When she looked up, she was beaming! He said he had never seen her so lit up. It was an absolutely magical night.

Late Night

2009-09-16T10:18:00.005-04:00

My daughter is in tune with me already. Its uncanny. You see, when I am sick I often can't sleep. My body doesn't like being horizontal and try as I may, I just can't sleep sitting up. The result? Late nights spent wishing I was sleeping. There have been nights, many in fact, where Sis can somehow sense this and wakes up inexplicably. I'll be reading or on the computer in an utterly silent house and still she wakes. She doesn't just wake, she is awake. We're talking WIDE awake. No groggy voice. No squinty eyes. Just wide awake and ready to chat. Last night was one such occasion. She came into the living room and asked if it was time to be awake. She was ready and if I had told her 1:30 am was the right time to start her day she would have done it. What resulted was a very long night with me escorting her back to bed multiple times. One such time, she came in and informed me that the cat was chasing a really fast bug in the dining room. My first thought - a roach! That had me out of bed in a hurry - which is funny because I don't know what I would have done except scream and climb up on a chair, which also would have been incredibly helpful - but turned out to be an old friend, the house centipede. Some bread and milk and a few hugs later and she was tucked in for the night. I wonder why I'm not getting better? ;)

Sneaking Up

2009-09-13T03:16:00.012-04:00

She is somewhere else in her imagination. I wish I could see what she sees.

Singing and twirling in the dining room

So Helpful

2009-09-12T01:50:00.001-04:00

A little explanation... As a pup, Jack was kennel trained. As a result, he often feels safest when he has a roof overhead. He's always under the table whenever anyone is sitting at it. He likes to be under the desk when anyone is using the computer. And his latest - he likes to be under my sewing table when I am sewing. He's weighs more than 90 pounds and my desk is quite small. It's really the most helpful thing.

Birthday #8

2009-09-11T20:58:00.006-04:00

I can't believe we made it! She's eight. It's official. I watched home videos today of when she was smaller. Sadly, I hardly remember some of it. I remember her being a sweet, happy baby though. She had everyone wrapped around her little finger. Not too much has changed, except now she speaks instead of screams(mostly), stills giggles a lot and she makes sure everyone is listening.

Instead of a kid-party this year, Sis decided she wanted to have all her favorite people over for pizza and cupcakes. This was much more appealing to me so we fired up the pizza stone and cranked out about a dozen pizzas for 25 of Sis' nearest and dearest, ranging from a 3-month old to many, many grown-ups. She asked everyone to wear masks and knowing Sis' love of all things Phantom, one grown-up friend even came as the Phantom, tux, mask and all. Thanks Daniel.

Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Sissy......

New tradition of opening presents at breakfast. I mean really, why wait?

Bigger boys had their own pizza party on the deck.

I love the look on her face. She's genuinely thrilled!

We're blessed to live here and have so many fabulous people to call family. Happy Birthday Sis!!

Happy Birthday Sis!

2009-09-10T16:55:00.004-04:00

My baby is eight today. She's such a funny, creative, pretty, vibrant young girl. She drives me crazy one minute and has me in stitches the next. I can't imagine life without her. Happy birthday you crazy beautiful girl!!

Deep Sick Thoughts

2009-09-09T09:09:00.006-04:00

I woke up late this morning after another night spent unable to breathe through my nose. Initially I woke early with a raging case of cramps, but after taking care of necessities I tucked myself back into bed, curled in the fetal position, thinking tragic poor-me thoughts. Being sick (this time) has revealed to me that I am an impatient person. I didn't think I was impatient by nature, but the truth has been revealed. Another morsel I discovered about myself is how much I take my health for granted. By and large I am a healthy person, or rather I don't often get sick. I have come to see these as being two very different things. Not getting sick does not make me healthy. It makes me lucky. I am fortunate to have not been unwell much in my life. I have only ever been in the hospital to have babies. I spent loads of time in the ER as a kid, most of which can be explained away by my lack of grace. I haven't had stitches, that I can recall. I've broken plenty of bones, but again - only as a kid. In fact, the first year we lived here in Baltimore, I can hardly remember being sick at all. We went the whole winter without catching anything. Nothing. Not one of us. Amazing right?!
I have been sick for two weeks now, since the drive home from the beach. I feel like I should have lost weight as I haven't been able to taste much this week and I have been expelling massive amounts of nasal debris daily. Not the case unfortunately. Oh well. I know it will pass and I will be well again. I do want to be well. But more importantly, I want to be healthy. I am going to take better care of this great gift I have been given - my body, my life. Here's to a healthier me.

When I Grow Up...

2009-09-08T21:25:00.003-04:00

Sis is going to be eight this week. For the last few days she has been saying, when I grow up... (fill-in-the-blank).

Take for instance our trip to the grocery store today. She wanted to buy three bags of marshmallows. I said no. She said: When I grow up I am going to buy them all the time. I got the same response for everything I rejected. I told her I hope she has a good job.

My favorite conversation took place while we made rolls for dinner. I was telling her how I loved chicken noodle soup and rolls because when I was little and it was a cold day or someone was sick, my mom would always make it for us. She thought about this for a minute and said:

Sis: When I grow up I am going to buy lots of movies for my kids. Kid movies. Grown-up movies. Shows.

Me: What kinds of movies?

Sis: The Office

Me: Why do you like The Office? (which she's not allowed to watch BTW)

Sis: The jokes.

Me: Really? (said while trying to suppress a smile)

A pause...

Sis: I'm hariess(sp?)

Me: You're an heiress?

Sis: No, it starts with an H.

Me: (after thinking for a moment) You're hilarious?

Sis: Yes, I'm hilarious.

Yes Sis, you are hilarious. Sometimes I wish I could stop you from growing up at all. Just don't do it too fast okay?

Gettysburg

2009-09-07T18:54:00.008-04:00

Its 10:00 Monday morning, aka Labor Day. Jon and I are staring at each other wondering what to do with our free day.

M: How 'bout Gettysburg?

J: Sounds good. Let's go.

(If only all decisions were so easy...)

Half an hour later, with a full tank, a cooler full of food, book for Et, art goods for Sis and tunes for Jon and I - we're off.

We couldn't have asked for a more perfect day. It was cool and overcast but not raining. There were people there, but I wouldn't call it crowds. We spent an hour at the museum and many hours more touring the battlefield - which is enormous BTW. I don't know how much Esther even understood. Et was amazed, as were Jon and I. I won't bother to write me feelings about the place except to say it is hallowed ground and I was completely overwhelmed at times. If you haven't been there, these pics will seem random.

The HighWater Mark - where's Pickett's Charge took place.

The Pennsylvania - The largest monument in the Park.

at Devils Den

E remembered all the names of the different battlefield areas. I thought he understood and would remember some names and battles. Apparently it had more of an impact than I thought. (Me with a big smile.)

A Couple of New Ones

2009-09-02T03:23:00.000-04:00

Just a few of Jon's latest for you to check out. The yellow one is small and red is much larger. Tremendous!

My Little Phantom

2009-09-01T03:33:00.000-04:00

She does this sometimes. She'll appear, midway through her school day, ask me to turn on Phantom and then reenact various scenes. Todays performance, starring Claudio her cat, The Point of No Return. The laundry basket is the boat. The cat, Christine.

Oak Island, NC

2009-08-31T21:23:00.006-04:00

(I can't believe how long it has taken me to get this posted! Too many photos to sort through.)

This is E, not getting wet on Sunday after church.

What a perfect way to end the summer!

A fabulous lady and family friend let us use her beach house for a week. We invited some friends, loaded up the car and spent an amazing week at the beach. Thanks Lee!! You're the best!

Jack followed Sis around much of the time.

I love Sis' expression. This was the night we arrived. The kids were in heaven.

The kids had never been to the ocean. Not really anyway. We went to a beach on the Mediterranean, but it was in a harbor so no waves. Molto bella! It was great to see them take to the water like fish. Even Sis who is not my water-baby became quite the little boogie-boarder.

My boys.

Sis' first time in the ocean. Priceless!

I tell you I couldn't get enough of the water. I can't find them, but I know I have gills.

There was a hurricane moving up the coast on our last few days there making the waves very big and extremely addicting.

Flying kites.

Jack loved the ocean. He's a water-dog.

The crab Jack spotted and Jon caught on the beach. The kids almost loved him to death.

Christmas Countdown

2009-08-30T21:15:00.003-04:00

I love the holidays. I do. When I was a child, my mother made Christmas a magical and special time at our house. I don't know how she did everything she did, but she really pulled out all the stops during that final month of every year. She never waited until December to pull out the Christmas music, which in fact I am streaming via Pandora as I write. There are certain pieces that transport me back in time when I hear them. I love that. I think that is one of the reasons I love the holidays so much. They are magical and fully of wonderful memories for me. So, why am I writing about Christmas in August? Well...

It's time. I can hardly believe it, but it is already time again for me to begin the Holiday Grand Plan. (Don't know what I am talking about? Click the link.) I have done this off-and-on for the past 10 years or so. I love it! I really do. I am a planner and an organizer at heart and this is a perfect fit for me. Here's the long and short of it...
~ The plan covers 18 weeks, beginning today.
~ It tells you what to do and when, to prepare for the holidays.
~ It does everything in easy and manageable steps.
~ It's free.
~ It makes the holidays, not just Christmas but Halloween and Thanksgiving too, wonderful and relaxing.
~ You can actually consider the season and what you are celebrating.
I guess to fully understand why I like it so much, you just have to check it and try it for yourself.
Let me just paint a picture for a moment to tempt you a little. (It may sound impossible &/or cheesy, but it is possible and I can't imagine a better way to spend the holidays.) It is the first week in December. It's a cold night out and you, holding a cup of cocoa, are watching a movie with your family. The tree is trimmed, the house decorated. You have little on your mind because you have finished your tasks for the season. You mailed the Christmas cards last week and finished wrapping the last of the gifts you were making and purchasing too. There are nearly 2 dozen dinners in the freezer and equally as many containers of holiday goodies tucked snugly away as well. The house is not only decorated, but clean and in good repair - many of those nagging fix-it projects finished over the past few months. You have already mailed your Christmas packages to loved ones, the advent calender is on track and you have time to read the Polar Express to your kids. It doesn't matter that there is a great sale at the mall and it is a blizzard out. Your packages are already wrapped, labeled and hidden in the closet. Your bank account thanks you too as you have spread your spending out over the last few months, not all during the month of December.

Let me just say, the years I have been faithful to this plan, I have spent more time reading Christmas stories, watching Christmas movies, making Christmas crafts, and drinking cocoa or hot cider as my kids played games on the floor. I haven't worried about over-scheduling or money or what to get my mother-in-law or anything really. Its not for everyone. Some people thrive on chaos and they work better under pressure, but as for me and mine...
Let the countdown begin.

Bless My Life

2009-08-19T12:03:00.003-04:00

Here's a blog everyone needs to check out. It's called Bless My Life. A very dear friend and her sweet husband put this up to help people recognize their blessings and uplift and inspire others. It does just that!

Thanks A&R for your wonderful blog and all you do for others. I feel blessed to know you both.

What are you Reading?

2009-08-13T11:32:00.005-04:00

We have been in Baltimore for almost a year now. It has been a wonderful experience, one that required some adjusting, but I finally feel like I am settled. I have felt mostly settled for a long time, but not completely. Last week while reading, I stopped and had to laugh. It was official, I was settled, complete again. I realized how many books I was reading, 4; five if you count the scriptures. (I've always loved reading. As a child I remember reading for hours in the summer outside under a shade tree. Confession: Even in high school when I would skip school, I would go to the library to read. Reading is a part of who I am.) You see, before we moved, I was always reading multiple books. After we moved here and I took on the role of full-time homeschooling mom amongst other things, I didn't make time to read like before. I was primarily reading books relating to my kids, their education, how to fit it all in, etc. Not varied enough to say the least. One problem I have is that I can't just read one book at a time. I am a multi-tasker. It's what I do.

Here's a peek at the books I am currently reading:

I have wanted to learn to knit for ages and I am teaching myself with books from the library. However this book isn't about how to knit, rather it's a journey of one knitters' life and the healing power she discovered in her craft. So far its got a thumbs-up from me.

As a homeschooling mom, I have checked these books(above and below) out at the library more times than I care to admit. Sis has struggled some with reading. (She loves to hear stories read aloud, but becomes easily frustrated when reading on her own.) Both books are filled with lists that I have been using while writing curriculum and schedules for the coming year. I have found the Read-Aloud Handbook to be so full of interesting information that I find myself telling Jon everything I have read at the end of the day. I feel empowered as a parent when I read something that I had been doing well already and I feel hopeful at the future when I find a new idea that I think will help. I liked both of these books so much, that I finally decided to buy them instead of worrying about returning them on time. They are not just for homeschoolers. I would say they are for any parent who wants to instill a love of reading in their children. Truly wonderful books, both of them.

And finally, The Lightning Thief (the book at the top) is the first in the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series. E first read it in 3rd grade and loved it. He has since read the entire series multiple times. I have wanted to read them too but hadn't gotten around to it until now. It's a clever book that I have a difficult time putting down. As there are five books in the series, and I am certain to not finish them all before going on vacation, I will be taking the unread books to the coast where they are sure to devour much of my beach time.

There you have it, my current reading life in a nutshell. I find that when I am reading so much that I am on the verge of ignoring my kids and letting the house go to the dogs, or in this case, the dog and cat, I am happy. Before you start to worry, I said verge. Rest assured, the kids are well, they are fed and if I know anything, probably off reading somewhere themselves.

So let me ask... What are you reading?

Ghost Bikes

2009-08-11T10:13:00.002-04:00

Have you ever seen one of these? This was a first for me. Its called a "ghost bike". The week prior to taking this picture, a cyclist was killed at this intersection. Essentially, it is a memorial for the lost cyclist. It was sobering and touching to see it on this otherwise normal street.

Thrift Store Shopping in OH

2009-07-31T09:41:00.005-04:00

I need to find a thrift store here in Baltimore like the one we went to in OH. It was chock full of very nice, hardly worn clothes and it was 50% off all clothes today. I know I am not alone in this feeling, but my kids are growing like weeds and I find it difficult to keep my kids dressed without breaking the bank. I can't imagine how people with more children keep their kids clothed without spending seven fortunes. We stocked up for another 6-12 months for very little money. Thank goodness for thrift stores.
My "new" shoes. I wore them around the store the entire time we shopped. I have been wearing flip-flops or running shoes all summer and initially it felt so constricting to have my foot enclosed in a shoe. I'm glad I wore them around though. I ended loving them.
This was my favorite buy of the day. I have another pair or prana pants and I adore them. They are years old and they just get better as they age, kind-of like me in that respect. These pants are so fabulous, I want to live in them. They were NWT and in case you can't see the label, it says $53. I got them half-price for $2.50. (And yes, I am letting the world that I am a 10.)

I Love a Deal

2009-07-28T17:03:00.004-04:00

Isn't it wonderful when you find a deal that almost seems too good to be true? At Target today, I found these lovely rainboots on clearance. They were the only ones there and they just happened to my size! I got them for $6, six measly dollars. Happy day!

FHE ala E & Sis

2009-07-27T08:45:00.004-04:00

FHE has gone the way of the Dodo this summer. Jon has been working Monday nights and I have been lazy. Simple as that. So this morning I mentioned to the kids that I wanted them to put together a lesson for FHE. In fact, I told them to plan the whole thing. For hours they worked at the table. First, they needed an xcto knife and mat. Next, they wanted a shoebox. Then Et disappeared outside for a spot. They were busy for most of the afternoon. E cutting and writing. Sis coloring and gluing. They were so focused. It made for a quiet house.

This is the *project they worked on together. (The word bubbles were not taped across the top originally, just when that portion of the story was taking place.)

It was a great lesson and reminded me of how capable, clever and intelligent my kids truly are. They did a fabulous job!

*If you can't figure out what you are looking at, its Nephi, Laman and Lemuel arriving in the Promised Land.

When it Rains... It Pours

2009-07-25T16:24:00.006-04:00

Baltimore is a great place to live. One of things I have liked the most this summer is the rain. It doesn't just rain here, it pours! Its like nothing I have ever seen, seen on a regular basis, that is. It goes something like this...

The clouds change. (Living downtown with buildings right next to each other makes it a little hard to see the great-big sky sometimes, but the light in our apartment changes and you know its coming.) It begins with a slight sprinkle which lasts about 15 seconds and then WHAM! Its like the clouds open right up and pour out everything they've got. It lasts a long time too. Its not like a normal cloudburst where it rains for 5 minutes and then slows to a sprinkle again. No, no. It unleashes copious amounts of rain for 30 minutes or more and then - done.

A few weeks back, we had the Elders over for dinner and as we were going down to the car for Jon to take them home, the cycle started. The clouds changed and within a very short time it was pouring. I really don't know what came over me, but I suddenly had the urge to get soaking wet.

Ingrid - I missed you so so much. I knew you would be out there with me, stomping in the puddles, dancing with arms wide open.

(I apologize for the wet t-shirt like pics that follow. If you are easily offended, do not continue reading.)
As it was, Sis was the only taker. Initially she couldn't believe what I was doing, but she came around and we spent a good 40 minutes in a torrential downpour. The alley behind our house was streaming with ankle deep rainwater. We were, quite literally, soaked to the skins. She kept turning to me saying, "Mom this is the best time of my life! I want to remember this forever."

When E arrived home with Jon he came out and played bringing Jack along. It just kept on raining and raining and raining. I have to say, it was one of the most carefree things I have done in ages. I felt like a kid again. And when all was said and done, after warm showers and clean jammies, my kids went to bed with smiles on their faces and loads of new memories in their precious brains.

A Little Favor

2009-07-21T07:29:00.004-04:00

My sister in Cincy sent this to me. Pretty funny. I like to think that one day that could be me hosting a garden club meeting at my home in Italy or Greece. Bunch of crazy old ladies.

Thought I'd share it with all of you.

Hi MY BEST FRIEND!!! It's that time of the year again." I need a small favor... if it's not too much trouble. I wouldn't ask this if you were not such a good friend. I'm going away on vacation, and I need a friend to come over to water my plants while I'm gone. The plants are mostly geraniums and begonias. In the hot weather they'll probably only need water twice a day. I'll be gone only 21 days. I've attached a photo for your reference. I'll send you a post card OK? Thanks so much.

P.S. The ladder is in the garage.

Presto! Pesto

2009-07-20T18:40:00.004-04:00

It's that time of year again. Basil is growing aplenty in my small garden and that means pesto in this house.
Last nights' dinner was simple and scrumptious. Multi-grain pasta with homemade pesto topped with parmesan. I wish I could afford real Parmigiano-Reggiano, but alas...

I made enough for dinner + more for the rest of the week.

Here's the pesto recipe:

2 cups fresh basil, rinsed

1/4 cup pinenuts

1/4 cup parm. cheese

couple tsp. of lemon juice

1 glove garlic

Throw above in a food processor and blend. While mixing, add oil until smooth, maybe a minute.

1/4 cup olive oil

kosher salt and ground pepper

Combine with cooked pasta, s&p to taste, top with more cheese. Enjoy! Couldn't be simpler.

(I like to add more cheese and nuts in the mix. Just a personal preference.)

I just love its beautiful bright green color. (This pic, courtesy of my phone, doesn't do it justice.)

Two More Elders

2009-07-15T08:54:00.002-04:00

This post is dedicated to Elders Harrison (second from left) and Stutz (resting on E) who became part of our family while serving here in Baltimore. We love you guys!
I don't know how to compose this post. I am suddenly filled with deep emotion as I consider things. It's funny how you can plan things one way and they can turn out entirely different than you anticipated and be even better than you could imagined. I was referring to our evening with Elders last night, but as I write this, I realize it absolutely applies to life in general.

We said goodbye to two more Elders yesterday evening. It was a whirlwind day, with much planning to make it all come together.

A little explanation: In the past when any of the Elders are being transferred or going home, we try and have both companionships over for dinner and we play the game of LIFE. (They seem to look at this as a road map for what might lie ahead. It's pretty funny.)

A little hiccup: On Sunday, two of the Elders informed us they would not be able to come to dinner on Tuesday as planned. No other night would work as Jon works Sunday and Monday evenings this month and on Wednesday they would be at the mission home for their final evening before heading home. They had a very good reason for cancelling - a baptism!

A little tweaking: After rearranging times a little, we figured out a way to get all four here, have an early dinner, shuttle off to the baptism with the help of our friend Daniel acting as chauffeur to two, attend the baptism and come back for 16-layers of heaven (see photo). All of that was easily enough arranged and the baptism was wonderful. I am grateful we attended.

Another set of hiccups: When the baptism concluded, there were not enough spots in vehicles to get everyone back to our place. There are too many little details to explain and really they are unnecessary for this story, so in the end we had found rides for everyone who needed them and in the process invited most of the people at the baptism back to our place for cake and ice cream. Love it. (I'm so glad we had cleaned the house earlier.)

A spontaneous party!! This glorious cake, below, is incredibly rich and the piece size needs to be small if you are going to make it through it. In the end, we got 20 slices out of a 9" round. Turns out, that's about the right size after all. Not a piece was left and everyone who wanted one got one. The ice cream too was completely devoured. It felt a little like the loaves and the fishes. More than the food though, we got to have good friends over to visit, the kids played until they dropped and the Elders got to say goodbye to a lot of people. It was wonderful and I loved that it was entirely unplanned and there was no stress.
In the end, we played a quick game of LIFE with the Elders and E creamed us all. We said our goodbyes to Harrison and Stutz, who were amazing, hard-working Elders, snapped a few pics and went to bed with our bellies full of cake, minds filled with happy new memories and hearts overflowing with gratitude for such a perfect day.

Clothes Line

2009-07-14T11:21:00.002-04:00

Do you ever wonder why it took you so long to do something? Something simple and easy? Especially when it was something you really wanted? Well, I have. Sadly, I wonder this too often about a myriad of things.

My thoughts wandered this direction today after I accomplished something painfully easy. What am I talking about you ask? A clothesline! I have wanted one forever and I finally went ahead and did it. I hung it myself. Took me all of two minutes. Nothing fancy, but it works. Plus, I found another use for my beloved clothespins. hehe

Two things made me finally decide to do it. The first: I was having a hard time falling asleep. This was not because of the outrageous electrical bill I got this month, although it should have been keeping me up nights. Rather it was due to my noisy dryer. You see, here in MD, we have no laundry room just a stack W/D - an older one I might add - in the hallway near my bedroom. I was only drying clothes at night for many reasons which would take too long to explain. I would put a load in before bed and if there was anything in the load that could make noise, it would - keeping me awake. Secondly, that darn electrical bill! Again, it would take far too long to fully explain why it was so big, but let me say, it made me do a double take and make a phone call it was so outrageous. Jon and I decided we needed to be more conscientious of our electricity usage further prompting me to consider the clothesline.

Why do I like the clothesline? So many reasons...

I love how the clothes smell hung out to dry on the line. I can't imagine how good they'll smell when the plumaria blooms.

It saves money.

It's environmentally responsible.

My house doesn't heat up because of the prehistoric dryer.

The clothes aren't going to wear out as quickly.

Sun is a natural bleach.

My kids "fight" over who gets to hang up the laundry with me.

It just makes me happy. Can't really explain it. I can imagine myself having a yard again with a great big clothesline, listening to the Weepies "Simple Life" while I hang things out to dry. That makes me happy.

What I don't like:

The dryer did a great job of hair-removal aka Jack's hair, which is currently attached to everything we own.

Towels aren't as soft on the first use. They're fine after that, but they are a little stiff the first go-round.

The most ironic thing... I finally have a clothesline and it's in the smallest outdoor space I have ever had. Go figure.

Plumaria

2009-07-13T11:20:00.004-04:00

Three years ago, I think it was, a dear friend gave me a plumaria she purchased while vacationing in Hawaii. In the three years I have had it, it has grown bigger every year, but never bloomed. I have researched how to get it to bloom, but never done just what I it needed. It is absolutely my most cherished plant, such that when we moved to MD, it traveled in the car with us instead of the moving van.

After obediently following the regime I found, my plumaria is doing amazing well. Apparently, the healthier the plant, the more it branches. My sweet plant is sporting multiple branches at this point. Also, the more it branches, the more blooms you can expect. In a few weeks, I will post again to show-off the beautiful blooms that are just beginning to form. I can hardly wait.

New haircut for Sis

2009-07-12T11:23:00.001-04:00

I don't know why but she won't wear barrettes, elastics, or headbands without a fight. She plays hard and by the end of the day was looking pretty scary, borderline homeless somedays. What's a mom to do? Chop it off! Problem being, I am not stylist. I cut Et's hair in the summer, which translates into clippers and buzzing it. Did that stop me? Not this time! I mustered my courage and chopped it all off, nearly five inches! Turned out pretty well if I do say so myself.

Who am I kidding, she looks adorable no matter what!

Scrapple

2009-07-09T11:24:00.000-04:00

I came across this in the grocery store not long ago. My guess is many of you have never heard of it. Lucky you. Apparently it finds its roots here in the East ~ Pennsylvania Dutch I think. Its kind-of gray-ish in color. I'm all about not wasting, but some things just should not be. Scrapple is one of those things. (This food came about so certain parts of the pig after butchering wouldn't be wasted.) Yummy! The pic isn't great so I will list as many ingredients as I can before throwing up.

Pork stock

Pork

Pork livers

Pork skins

Yellow corn meal

Pork hearts

Whole wheat flour

Pork tongue

Salt

Buckwheat flour

Sodium Citrate

Sodium Diacelate?

White flour

Spices

Dextrose

Flavoring

If you really want to know more about it, read this. Enough said.

First Court of Honor

2009-07-08T17:07:00.004-04:00

We had a fun time tonight at E's first Court of Honor. He was able to go to Scout camp this month and was excited to get his first merit badges, first aid and photography. There were only two boys in attendance as Youth Conference was this week as well. He is just one requirement short of his Tenderfoot, three from Second Class and halfway through his First Class.

I have to say how daunting this all seems to me. Its one more thing to do in an already busy life, but as I see how much he is learning and growing, I know its all worth it. A friend in the ward has been really terrific in helping me figure things out and giving me tips about making it more E's responsibility and less mine. We are figuring out how we can incorporate it in our daily schedule & school curriculum to make it more doable, less crazy.

I have to I am so proud of him. He is a really terrific kid and I feel lucky to be his mom. Oh, funny thing... When he was saying the closing prayer/blessing on the refreshments he said something to the effect of, "bless the refreshments even though they really aren't good for us". People thought it was pretty funny. Where does he get it?

Sweat baby!!

2009-07-07T11:24:00.002-04:00

I have been doing a new workout as of late and it's tough. The idea is different from previous programs I have done in that you lift VERY heavy weights with fewer reps instead of more reps and less weight. The "off" days from lifting are spent doing intense cardio in 3-5 one minute bursts, with plyometrics and endurance lifting in-between. If I were in better shape it might not be so difficult, but as it is, I am dying through these workouts. On one particularly brutal day after finishing my routine, I looked down at my mat and this is what I saw. That is my sweat!

Can I tell you how strong and able I felt?! It was like I could do anything. I pushed myself so hard and I had the sweat to prove it. It isn't just physically challenging, but absolutely mental as well. So I'll ask, what are you doing that challenges you these days? Physically? Spiritually? Emotionally? Intellectually? (I know being a mother does this for me everyday.) If you can't think of anything, or if the answer is nothing, step up and find something that stretches you to your limit and then push yourself one step further. You'll be amazed at what you can accomplish.

Independence Day

2009-07-05T11:23:00.003-04:00

This was a different sort of Fourth for us. When we lived in UT, the Fourth was an amazing test of endurance. It began with an awesome block party on the afternoon and evening of the 3rd, followed by movies projected on the neighbors' house. There was the task of saving space on the parade route, arguing with police and generally going until you dropped and that was just the 3rd. The 4th began early by checking the coveted "reserved" parade spot to confirm that it was indeed still saved. Crepe breakfast courtesy of Leslie was not to be missed. The parade and all is wonderful chaos was next in the lineup. After hours of cheering and celebrating, we would retreat inside for a bit before heading to Sorensen's for their watermelon bust and then if we had any energy left, we might venture over for some tasty eats at the County buildings. Naps in the afternoon and visiting with friends was customary. And to top it all off, we would haul our camp chairs out into the street to watch the Stadium of Fire pyrotechnics display after dark., finally rolling into bed around midnight. I am exhausted just thinking about it. We did it though, every year for the last seven years we did it.
This year was different. On the evening of the 3rd, Jon went out with the Elders on splits until late and I made a pie for the BBQ the next day. Isn't it pretty?

The morning of the 4th was mellow with nothing planned. That's right... NOTHING!! I really didn't know what to do with myself. No parade to hit, no running around, nothing. We just vegetated until it was time to go to a BBQ in the evening.

E and Sam, as Uncle Sam(s)

Thanks to Kristen and family for the fabulous BBQ! I especially appreciated the time we took to talk about the Founding Fathers and Our Nations' history.

The company was fabulous, the food delicious and the view for the fireworks, unbeatable.

Fireworks over the Bay ~ View from the rooftop deck

As much as we missed the festivities in UT, this was a pretty terrific day. I actually spent some time reflecting on the holiday and the freedoms I enjoy. The fireworks were great. They were all up and down the Bay. I'm not adequately describing it, but it was a lot of fun.

Happy with Me - A Turning Point in my Life

2009-07-03T11:26:00.001-04:00

This is a very personal post but I feel strongly that I need to publish it here for some reason.

At the beginning of the summer, while visiting family in UT, I had a bit of a breakdown. It just snuck up on me and knocked me flat on my back. Although short in duration (two days), it was a really difficult time for me. I felt so sad! I have never felt like that. Most of the time I think of myself as a happy, cheerful sort of person and I was just in the depths. (I imagine it was similar to what someone with depression feels like; definitely an eye-opener to me.) Jon was only with us for 3+ days and sadly I spent the last one in this funk. But before he headed home, we had a great discussion that helped me as I worked through things over the next couple of days. I just wanted to share what I learned about myself during that time and how it has changed me.

As I said, I was just sad; no other way to say it, just completely sad. I sat and watched my family and the kids and I felt nothing. For some reason, I just didn't like myself. I am not sure what triggered it, but when the switch flipped, I just became numb to happiness and felt such a raw, aching sadness, a loss for what? I didn't know. I called a good friend and she gave me a great piece of advice: let yourself feel it. Don't try to stop the emotion, just let yourself feel everything. It wasn't convenient. It wasn't fun, but it was good advice. It allowed me to be open to things I didn't want to see or feel, but by being open I was able to work through it instead of burying it.

If I explained everything I figured out, this post would be eternally long, so I will sum up.

I compare myself. Specifically I compare myself to everyone in my family. While visiting family, without even realizing it, I found something everyone else did that I felt was "better" than I could do. I wasn't giving myself any credit, just finding where I felt I fell short and magnifying it in my mind. It was so warped. Both of my sisters-in-law are pregnant and I was coming down on myself for not being pregnant, as though I somehow have control over that. I was even comparing my kids with their cousins. It was so mixed-up! In finding fault with myself, I had divided myself into little pieces and scattered them about leaving myself unwhole, broken if you will. In talking, Jon helped me to see things as they really are and helped me to see goodness in myself where my vision was temporarily clouded.

Another big one I figured out was that I still wanted my parents' approval. Actually, wanted is not entirely accurate. I needed my parents' approval. I messed up a lot as a teenager and I felt like I disappointed my parents so much. I hadn't dealt with that either. I haven't been a teenager for 14 years and I had left a little part of myself in that time.

When I recognized all these things and a few others, it was surprisingly easy to go in the other direction. It was a conscious choice, but not a difficult one. It wasn't something I just fixed, but I did change course immediately and started looking for things that I liked about myself. I realized that my parents love me and whether or not they approve of the choices I make is irrelevant. They love me. So many of things I worried about just don't matter. I can't control so much of what happens in life but the things I can control I do a pretty good job with. In fact, I do a lot of things well. And what I don't do well, I am learning to live with or improve where possible. The rest is extra. Now more than ever I feel like a whole person again. And being happy with me makes me smile, another thing I am good at.

Gunpowder Falls Hike and Prettyboy Dam

2009-07-01T17:22:00.006-04:00

Another beautiful morning, another hike discovered. This was a little farther from our place, maybe 30 minutes outside the city. What a glorious hike it was, everything being so green and lush! The kids liked the hike for all the wildlife we encountered: fish, turtles, a snake, deer, a fox, a bald eagle and an osprey. It was amazing. I was in heaven with all the flora and fauna, so many mossy surfaces and the ferns! The ferns were so lovely and they were everywhere.

And the only people we saw on the hike were fishermen. One of them saw a copperhead on the trail earlier in the day. No thanks.

Orange day lilies! We had them at our home in UT and they were in all the neighbors' yards as well. Funny thing, they are everywhere here too. I get the impression they are indigenous to this area, specifically near the water. Ironic, since we came from a desert and they were in great abundance there too. Jon and I have agreed that nothing short of a nuclear bomb can kill them.

There is obviously a beaver living on this stretch of river although we didn't see a dam anywhere. The evidence he is there is overwhelming with trees felled every which way bearing the familiar markings of his prominent front teeth.

E was all about getting as far out into the river as possible. He's a pretty fun hiking partner these days and tough to keep up with too.

At the end of this gorgeous hike is the Prettyboy Dam. I just like it for its name. As far as dams go, its not terribly imposing, with vegetation growing right up against it. We found a great big slab to picnic on before heading back. Altogether a perfect hike with relatively few mishaps and plenty of good times.

Hello there. Aren't these tiny little toadstools amazing? They are so cheerful.

Lake Roland

2009-06-30T11:22:00.003-04:00

We've been trying to find hikes near the city and have come across a couple great ones. There is a park, the Robert E. Lee park that has some great trails. The lake is quite large and you can hike around the entire perimeter. Today we went out for a couple of hours and made it about halfway around before finding a shortcut back.

I could not believe how green the forest was this morning. It has been a very wet spring and the vegetation was amazing! There were areas that were so thick that you couldn't see through the thicket.

Later in the hike, we started seeing thick vines hanging from the trees. Jon had the idea to test their strength with his own body weight. They held! We took turn doing Tarzan swings and jungle calls.

It is definitely a hike we will go back to again. Next time, I think we'll try for the whole way around the lake. I'll pack a picnic. You should come along.

Favorite Friday... Jon

2009-06-19T12:16:00.002-04:00

I don't really need to post anything about why Jon is my favorite, but I am going to anyway.

He does quiet acts of service for me all the time. This morning, I was having a slow go at it and before I was even functioning really, he had unloaded and loaded the dishwasher. He didn't say anything, probably thought I didn't even notice, but I did.

Then he and E watered the patio plants. This may not seem like a lot, but instead of hauling multiple watering cans from the kitchen - which makes a terrible mess not to mention how heavy the cans can be, we've developed a system where we send a line down to the ground (the deck is ten feet up) and someone on the ground ties the hose to the line. When the hose is pulled up, the ground person turns it on and the deck person waters everything and sends it back. It takes time. Again, done quietly and without fanfare.

He makes the bed with me in the morning.

He rubs the insides of my forearms and hands when we watch movies (one of my favorite things).

He loves me even when my pants get too tight.

He kills bugs, scary ones, for me when I am freaking out in the bathroom.

He lets me go to UT or OH or wherever with the kids, while he stays home and works. He doesn't grumble about it, just tells me he misses me, how bored he is alone and wishes I were home.

He makes me laugh - everyday.

He is a gifted artist with a creative spirit. Don't believe me... check this out.

He's happy to see me when he comes home, even if he was happy to leave. ;)

He doesn't complain when I spend too much time on the computer ignoring him.

He compliments my cooking.

He is talented at everything he tries his hand at.

He watches the kids so I can go running on Saturday mornings. I can sometimes be gone for hours and he never says a word.

He makes the best waffles, bar none.

He downloads apps to my phone that he knows I would like.

He charges my phone when I forget.

He keeps gas in the car so I don't have to do it.

He is worthy of the Priesthood he holds.

He is a good man. I mean a truly amazing, kind, sincere person.

He's terribly handsome, even without all his hair.

He has an incredible work ethic. He is the hardest working person I know.

He spends everyday doing something that he loves and is passionate about.

He makes sure to leave me hot water for a shower and doesn't complain when I don't leave any for him.

He hangs up his towel after a shower.

He likes to experiment in the kitchen.

He'll watch chick-flicks with me.

He supports my need to organize.

He lets me rearrange the Netflix queue with whatever I want and doesn't change it, even if that means he will be watching my choices for weeks without a break.

He reads to Esther before bed, even though we are both tired and ready to relax for the night.

He is the quieter of the two of us and doesn't mind being in the background most of the time with me making a lot of noise front and center.

He can fix anything and he always - ALWAYS - does it the right way, no shortcuts.

He hates clutter as much as I do.

He is learning Italian with the rest of us.

He is my best friend.

I could go on and on all day, but...

Most of all, he loves me for who I am today. I couldn't ask for more than that.

Happy Anniversary

2009-06-18T12:00:00.004-04:00

Taken at Jon's Graduation from BYU in '07

On Sunday Jon and I celebrated our 13th Anniversary! It was pretty chill. We played baseball with the kids in the park and finished the day with vanilla milkshakes and a movie.

Thing is, I can't figure out where thirteen years went. It just seems like a blink and not, if you know what I mean. We figured out that by the time we celebrate another thirteen, E will be 24 yrs. old and Sis will be 20!! Jon will have had his 50th birthday and I will have blown out 46 candles on my last cake. Then we will really be wondering where the time went. I am not going to get all sentimental here. I have saved that for my own personal journal, but suffice it to say, I am grateful for the life I have and for the last thirteen years with Jon. They have been beautiful and full. We have experienced so much. We've learned together, grown together and wanted to strangle each other at times. We've made a family together, run a business, finished school, restored a house, moved 2000 miles, had adventures and trials, laughed until our bellies ached and cried until our eyes were dry(okay that one is me). I had no idea life would be so much fun.

Jon gave me these drawings done by a classmate of his. I love Lawrence's work. I have wanted some of his art for awhile now and I was so happy to get these two.

The images are only 5"x5" with the paper being 7"x7". He paints with tea for the background and uses pencil for the illustration. Jon chose these two because they remind him of our kids. I would like to get a few more of his drawings before we leave school. They are wonderful.

First, in honor of E. Its a long story, very funny, and totally embarrassing. Maybe I'll post the video. (As I write this, E is jumping up and down behind me, begging me not to post the video, as he feels it will show him as "an insane kid who liked to put underwear all over his body for fun".) Let me just say, he was 9 and he called himself Underpants Man. I can still hear him shout, "Underpants Man to the rescue!" like it was yesterday. I will say, all the underwear used in the filming was clean, albeit used.

This drawing holds another little piece of significance for me. As a kid, my mother always told us to wear clean underwear. I know, I know... Everyone's mother taught them to wear clean underwear, but her reason was very specific. If we were in accident and had to go to the hospital, imagine how mortified she would be as a parent to have her child caught wearing dirty underwear. I have never forgotten that. It still makes me smile to think of it. And the inscription on the drawing says never forget. Don't worry mom, I still remember.

I didn't ask Jon what specifically he thought of with this one. The inscription across the bottom reads, Or the warm lonely wind that always blows across this place like a BOX FAN... Can you feel this? It's just lovely and carefree and a little bit magical. I know the pics don't do them justice. The detail is fantastic. I love how he uses tea as a watercolor. It's so warm, so organic, so simple.

Sleeping Companions

2009-06-17T12:59:00.004-04:00

E was up early on Monday, like 5:00am early. Sis was asleep on the couch in their room and Claudio had made himself comfortable.

E found my phone to snap a pic as he thought it an unusual and funny site. (The light is a table light in their reading nook as it was still dark when he shot the pic.)
I love our pets! The hair drives me crazy, Jacks' especially, but life wouldn't be the same without them. They love their "kids" and their kids love them. What could be better than that?

Farmers' Market

2009-06-17T12:07:00.004-04:00

The problem with farmers' markets out here is they are almost all on Sundays, the good ones anyway. This year my edible garden consists of one tomato plant and three peppers, plus oodles and oodles of herbs. Needless to say, I miss eating fresh. I love buying locally though and especially not having to hop in the car for a trip to the market.

While we were in UT, a new farmers' market started up just down the block from our house. Today was its second week and we decided to check it out. It's still small, but I have great hopes for it. I talked to my kids about how we can lessen the impact we have on the earth when we support efforts like this. I let them pick out the produce they wanted for the week and they helped carry everything home.

This is the loot that we picked up this week. The cabbage was from PA, but everything else we bought was from Essex MD, less than 30 minutes from our house! Its all organic and fairly priced. We used bags from home and walked. Right about now I am feeling extremely grateful for these delicious strawberries and the fact that the rain waited until we were home to enjoy them. And I would be lying if I said needed the dahlia... purely a want and I love it! Isn't she gorgeous!

Baseball Crazy

2009-06-16T13:08:00.002-04:00

We are officially baseball crazy here. What we lack in equipment we make up for in enthusiasm. Don't laugh. Currently we have one ball, one mitt, and one bat - one little league sized bat I might add. (E's mitt got lost somewhere in the move and I believe Jack got ahold of a ball or two thinking they were his chew-toys. We have never had a good bat and I have never owned a mitt of mine own.) Just means we get a little more exercise chasing that fabulous lonely ball across the field.
I decided if I was going to remain sane through the summer it meant getting out and doing things with the kids. Just a few blocks from the house there is a park that is big enough to hit the ball around. There are two fields, one (below) with little grass and the other (above) lush and green. We've been trying to spend some time everyday at the field playing ball and as the weather has been wonderfully cool, turns out we've been spending a lot of time at the field.
E's got a great arm on him. How did I not know this before now? Seriously, the kid can throw. Sis' face lights up everytime she gets a hit or makes a great throw. And I LOVE to hit the ball. I love to throw, catch, hit and run deep when one of the kids gets a piece of it. I love baseball. How did I forget this?

The $500 Accident

2009-05-26T18:21:00.002-04:00

Funny how things can change in such a short time; how one can go from feeling so happy and so blessed to feelings of anger and frustration, irritation and contention. Pretty much I've figured out today it comes from a lack of gratitude on my part and losing the Spirit in some measure.

To preface things, I'll share our Saturday with you. MICA had an open studio weekend where anyone could come into the studios of the students and look at their art and purchase it if they desired. I had prayed all week that Jon would be successful in this and that he would be able to sell a painting or two. He had also been working on these lovely notebooks/ journals (I'll post a pic when I get one) that I hoped would sell too. Well, Saturday came and to sum up, Jon was able to sell two paintings and a journal. What a fantastic success! (As students we are on a very small and sometimes non-existent budget. And regardless of Jon's efforts, he has not been able to secure summer employment which made selling some art even more important.) Another little bonus was still to come. As it is the end of the semester, the undergraduate and post-baccalaureate students clear out their spaces and there is treasure to be found. We went from floor to floor finding whatever there was that was worth keeping. The goods were random, some paints for the kids, materials for Jon, gift wrapping boxes but it was great fun. We finished the day feeling very blessed and happy with life.

Now onto the second act. Here's the story and I'll be brief. On Sunday, Jon spoke in sacrament mtg. (and did a great job BTW). We parked in the parking lot and went straight into the chapel. During the next meeting, SSchool, we discovered the key fob was missing. Not to worry. Jon hadn't been anywhere other than the chapel and the overflow, where SS is taught so we were certain we would find it quickly. As it turns out, things didn't go quite like we had hoped. After looking the building over we were unable to find it. Nothing we did turned up the key. The day finished with the car being left in the lot. On Monday little could be done as it was a holiday, so we spent our time figuring out what it would cost to replace the fob and it wasn't pretty. In addition to this little irritation, we were told about our friends' sadness with losing their baby. It wasn't a great day as these things go.

Today... We decided to call a locksmith to open the car today. I was sure the key had to be in the car. Their was no other explanation as to how it could disappear so completely. $50 later, the car is opened, no key. The church building searched again, no key. Only choice - tow the car, $120 later, to the dealer and have a new key ordered, to the tune of roughly $350. All said, the paintings that sold Saturday made it possible to order the key and pay cash, but that's about it. So today I have been impossible. I have red puffy eyes from crying with frustration and my poor kids have been yelled at for basically nothing. After a chat with my sister and a nap, I felt much more centered. The thing that really put things in perspective was the blessing over our dinner that E gave. He thanked the Lord for all the goodness he has blessed us with, namely a home to keep us safe and food on our table. He went on to say thank you for clearing away any obstacles to our getting our key made. He thanked God for helping us to get the car open and for discovering the key not to be there and for us being able to get it towed and the order processed. All the things I had been cursing God for all day, he was giving thanks for. He opened my eyes and filled them with tears to a better perspective. So in the end, I am grateful, not for the key having been lost, but for a son who has a much greater understanding of how God works in our life and how blessed we truly are in our small adversities. I am happy to finish the day in a positive light with hope that things will work out in the end.

Heartache

2009-05-25T21:19:00.003-04:00

Today Jon and I got some tragic news. Some dear friends of ours were expecting their first child and this afternoon they called to tell us they had lost him. She was just a few weeks from her due date. My heart aches for them and their loss. I tried to explain in to Sis, but she didn't understand. She just kept asking when she would get to see the baby and what his name was. I felt so helpless at the news.

After pondering it this evening I have found a measure of peace. Our friends have hope and will try again to have a child after some time has passed. I don't know why things like this happen, but I do know that the Lord is near in situations like these. I honestly don't know the faith of my friends but I hope they can feel the peace of the Lord through this sad time.

Favorite Friday... School's Finally Done and the Zoo

2009-05-22T14:29:00.005-04:00

*Caution - This post may contain material that is not appropriate for those who have not had some version of 'The Birds & the Bees' talk already. ;-)

We are done!! We are finally finished! I can hardly believe we made it a year together. Homeschooling has been such a challenge for me. I don't mean that in a negative way. Rather, I feel like I was really stretched out of my comfort zone and it was the best thing I could have done for myself. I feel so blessed to have spent so much time with my kids this year. And let me say what how grateful I am to see that both E and Sis are happy and have accomplished so much. We did our "end-of-year" testing this week and both kids did amazingly well. (To be honest, I was more than a little worried that I had failed to teach them enough or that they had not retained anything.) The two things I was most worried about ended up being just fine. Esther came through her L. Arts with a +95% average. Et got in the high 80's in science and 90's in Math. Why do I worry so much?!? Worrying is such a monumental waste of time and energy.

This has been such a great week. It has still had its share of bumps and stresses, but they are so small in comparison to all the goodness we've had. Our goals for the summer are simple. We want to have fun exploring and imagining and learn something in the process. Moving on...

*Being Friday, today was zoo day. It was hot, hitting 90 by noon. It was crowded. It seems every school, daycare and youth group schedules their zoo trip for the last three weeks in May. No worries. It was still great. The animals don't to anything terribly exciting in this kind of heat, but there is still so much to see and learn. So the one exception to the animals not doing anything was at the Polar Bear Watch. LOL!

All spring they have kept Magnet, the male, and Anoki, the female separated. We have spent so many Fridays watching Magnet moan and cry and pace and pace until he is frothing at the mouth and the ground is worn away because he could see and smell Anoki but he could not get to her. (She was on the other side of the enclosure, separated by a fence while she healed from a leg wound.) Today when we got there we discovered they had drained the tank, visible to the public, on one side and put the two back together. And finally Magnet got his girl. It was too funny. We were there for AWHILE and they looked pretty much the same the whole time. Sis had so many questions. I had to try so hard to keep a straight face. She was mortified. I wish I could have gotten a picture. E wasn't too interested in watching and the other kids around him were terrible. It was one of those times that I appreciated not having him hang around so many other 11-yr. old boys. We finally left because of the things they were saying and the language they were using. Anyway, it was interesting to say the least.

I am certain the zoo keepers were thrilled with their behavior as they have been trying to breed Magnet with either of the females at the zoo. Magnet is the second most "eligible" bachelor in the country for his genes and Anoki the female is the most sought after female, so successful breeding with them would be amazing. (E tells me I have it backward, that Magnet is the top dog and Anoki is #2, but who knows. It really doesn't matter much.)

This was the highlight of E's day. Right off the trail near the elephant enclosure we spotted a Black Rat Snake. This just happens to be E's favorite snake in the reptiles area. It was nearly as long as E is tall and very nervous. All said, a great - albeit hot and crowded - day at the zoo.

The Window's of Heaven...

2009-05-21T14:53:00.006-04:00

Today we were surprised with a great blessing. It was nothing we were looking for, but it was so welcome. Our neighbors (three single girls) are moving out this month. They have been unloading their apartment all week. Mostly they put stuff out in the alley and people come by and pick it up. (We live near MICA campus and therefore, many poor students.) Today they had a pile of stretcher bars and an easel sitting outside and I promptly called my sweetie to see if he was interested. When of course he was, I tracked down the girls and asked if everything was for the taking. Which, of course, it was. Score!! We hiked ten canvases worth of stretcher bars and a couple of stretched canvases up the back stairs. There were bags of goodies sitting out - which of course were all free too. I scored another yoga mat, hot pink towels for Sis, rubbermaid containers, dishes and bedding from IKEA, a 20" TV/DVD w/stand and more. The mom of one of the girls came out and asked if I was looking for any furniture and when I asked "like what?" she had me follow her inside. Apparently its cheaper for her to buy ALL new furniture in NY and leave everything behind because she wasn't taking anything with her. She gave us all the furniture that is pictured above plus another wardrobe, a huge bookcase, a lamp and the mattress for the bed. We already have the matching dresser for the one she gave us and the bookcase is the same type we bought at IKEA last year. Everything matches what we already have!! It couldn't have been more perfect if I had planned it myself. I don't know why God blesses us in the ways He does, but I am grateful for His goodness and His generosity. Some of my favorite blessings are the ones I don't necessarily need, they are just a little (or a lot of) something that puts a smile on my face and lets me know God loves me and is aware of me and wants me to be happy. I couldn't ask for more than that.

Coming to UT

2009-05-19T11:01:00.003-04:00

Hey, hey, hey! We are on the countdown to our UT trip. We arrive in SLC on the 30th of May, only 11 more days! Jon actually gets to come with us for a small part of the time. It's the first time we've flown as a family since Italy, almost two years ago. Its a shorter trip than before, so we don't have as much time to visit everyone individually, but we still want to see as many friends as possible. One of the things we're looking forward to the most, besides chillin' with the fam, is a BBQ we have planned. I FB'ed it already, but for those of you not on FB here are the details: On the 31st, Sunday, we're going to be at my parents' house in Orem (478 East 400 North). All you need to do is bring something for yourself for the grill and something to share with everyone else. We are going to supply drinks and paper goods. My parents' yard is beautiful and there is much to do . Bring the fam. There are three treehouses and a trampoline to play on. Hope you can make it as we will not be in UT again until the holidays and we want very much to see you all. Spread the word!

Favorite Friday... Deals, deals, deals

2009-05-15T20:40:00.005-04:00

(Phone pics don't always turn out as well as one would hope.)

I am all about the hunt lately. Money is tight and that makes it even more important for me to be on the lookout for a deal. I have been finding the best deals as of late. Coupons are the only way I grocery shop anymore. Its a pain in the neck sometimes and it tries my kids' patience as I go from store to store, but it is all worth it. My food storage is filling up again and I am staying within my budget. I love getting a receipt three feet long with my savings detailed at the bottom. I feel robbed when I don't have a savings of over 50% and I am usually shooting for much higher than that. In fact, I am all about the free thing. Yesterday I got 7 bottles of hot sauce and six jars of meat marinades for free. I paid .04 for 100 cal snack paks and actually made .18 back on deodorants. I am headed to Target today to get Bliss candy bars and Crystal Light on the free. Its the little things in life that bring me joy. Dark chocolate for free is definitely bliss.
Its not just about groceries either. We have been shopping thrift stores lately for summer items. I am currently on the hunt for used sports equipment. Craigslist has a lot of things for sale, but often the items are too far away to make it a great deal. When I go into a clothing store I find myself going to the clearance rack now. For summer, I love - LOVE- skirts. They are my absolute fav! I got a couple of summer skirts at a store I have never been to before (and won't frequent) but they were a great deal. Saturdays at the thrift store are the best. Everything in the store is 1/2 price. It takes a bit of hunting sometimes, but its worth the time. Books ending up being nearly free. We have added scads of Newberry's to our library this way. Books and chocolate are tops on my list for creating true joy.
Since writing the above, I made a trip to Shoppers for triple cpn weekend. (I have to do trips like this alone as they can be painfully tedious.) I spent $77 oop, but my savings were over $180. The cashier was fabulous and the fellow behind me actually called his wife to tell her about my transaction. He was awesome, cheering me on and being so patient. My receipt was hilariously long, over eight feet in length(see pic above). By the time I was finished, I had the guy behind me telling his wife they had to start using coupons and even the cashier was asking where to find the coupons I used.
*I recognize that this post is embarrassingly mundane in nature. However, it's my life and my blog. ;-) I feel blessed to have had such great success in this aspect of my life. I'm doing all I can to stretch the small budget we have and I am so grateful it works as well as it does.

They Teach Us

2009-05-10T13:43:00.002-04:00

Last Sunday after church, I was talking to Sis about what she had learned in Primary. She mentioned that a boy in her class had not been coming for a long while now. (Like many kids in our area, his mother is a single mom and she has a heavy work schedule that often prevents her from coming on Sundays.) I suggested that she pray for this boy during the week that he might come next Sunday. All week long she remembered to include him in her prayers without any reminding from me. It was such a simple and sweet gesture. To be honest, I had forgotten about it this morning until we got to church and Sis recognized his mother in the chapel. She searched the room to find J and when her eyes fixed upon him, she was so happy. He had made it! He came to church. She turned to me with the brightest eyes. I whispered to her that her prayers had been answered. My heart was filled as I recognized the truth in that. God hears our prayers. We have such power within us to harness the forces of heaven for such miracles as these.

As I entered VT reports later in the day, I felt impressed to write some things down as I saw them. There were sisters who were struggling financially, emotionally, or spiritually or who's work schedules, health or other circumstances were preventing them from attending. As I read their names, I knew that even if I could do nothing to relieve their immediate hardship, I could pray for them. That is something we all can do.

Listening to my daughters' prayers all week reminded me of that. By exercising our faith and asking God for strength, wisdom, patience, relief or whatever we or others around us stand in need of, we all can lift each others burdens and help to make our lives and the lives of those we know better.

Crunch, crunch, crunch...

2009-05-02T23:32:00.005-04:00

I finished the twohundredsitups challenge tonight. I was all too happy to finish that one up as I don't love crunches on the flat ol' floor. I would much rather be on my ball. I did the final test after I finished my round of pushups (which I had put off from yesterday) so I wasn't hoping for a single one passed 200 but I had the right tunes going and I just kept on crunching. I am happy to say I did 275 total! Yippee! I am going to keep at my routine on the ball which I find to be more effective and challenging anyway.

The pushups thing is killing me. I know I keep saying this, but it is entirely true. I have got to add more intense weight training to my arms on my days off if I am going to get any stronger. I have to say, I am able to crank out the number on each set but just barely and with shaking arms. Still, I am making progress. Tonights' set called for 113 total pushups and did exactly that. Some days, I do more than the required, but lately I am doing just what it says and then setting myself down gently so as not to collapse on my face. On the bright side, I still have two weeks to go and even then I have given myself a deadline of Friday May 29th (the day before we come to UT) as my true final. I want to be able to do more than the 100 at my final test. Who knows, maybe I'll be able to do a pullup at that point. Night all!

Days Like Today...

2009-04-29T09:33:00.002-04:00

It's days like today that I am grateful for my life, my routine or lack thereof, my situation, etc.

7:30 - This morning I woke up to my alarm playing For Good from Wicked. Mingled with that was the sound of the rain coming through my open bedroom window. It was glorious. I laid there for almost an hour listening to both and feeling perfectly content with my sweetheart sleeping beside me. Those random moments in the morning are when I feel most centered. I can talk with my Maker and gain strength for the day. My mind swims between conscious and unconscious thought. Often Esther will crawl into bed with me and we'll talk about our dreams and just be silly. And I'm pretty sure I've mentioned the love affair I have with my sheets...

8:30 - After stepping out of my warm covers into the cool room, I feel ready to tackle the day. I realize the kind of life I have now will not always be, but I love that Jon doesn't have to race off every morning. Some days, like this morning, he didn't have to be on campus until after lunch. To be able to spend time all together in the morning is rare and precious. We can read our scriptures as a family and eat breakfast together.

9:00 - After doing sit-ups and push-ups (getting stronger every time) I showered and actually did my hair - guaranteeing two good hair days. School day begins for the kids. Jon works on projects for school.

12:00 - We went to a thrift store down the road and found some great deals. I got a denim jacket for three bucks! The kids added more than a dozen books to their library. Two shirts and two pair of jeans for Jon bringing the total to $15! I love 1/2 price days.

1:00 - Next, Jon to school and then home for lunch. A promised trip to the library was preceded by a wonderful email from an old friend. With only a hour on the meter, we raced through the library picking up our reserved books and did a spot of VT to a great lady who, as luck would have it, lives across the street from the library.

4:00 - Home again, dishwasher loaded, W/D both going, finishing up schoolwork with the kids, I sit down to do agendas for pres. mtg, plan out tomorrow's shopping trip and write this post.

The rest of the day will go something like this:

5:30 - Make dinner. Feed the kids; kids feed the pets. Walk the dog. Then tidy up the house.

6:45 - Pres. mtg and Scouts for E.

8:45 - Mtgs. finished, home again. Kids bedtime routine and in bed by 9:00.

9:00-10:30 - My time! Jon is at school until late most nights which leaves me a spot of time at night to unwind, plan school for the next day, watch a movie, read one of the many books I am trying to finish, or chat with a friend. I love this time of day. It is my time.

10:30 - Jon is home. We are all safe and sound under the same roof. We talk, watch Seinfeld, eat the goodies the kids never know exist, fool-around :). What?! Just being together is the best way to finish my day. Some days I am so tired I fall into bed. Others nights I putter through my night-time ritual (as Jon calls it) and read in bed until I can't keep my eyes open.

This is my life. It is a full, sometimes crazy life. Today my perspective is good. I feel blessed for the things I get to do each day. I feel blessed to be able to spend so much time with my kids. I complain sometimes about this life of mine, but I love it. I love that it is mine. (Remind me of that the next time you hear me complain about it).

Finding Balance

2009-04-23T16:08:00.002-04:00

I am happy to be alive. I am happy to be where I am in my life. My family is my greatest blessing. As you might guess, they are often my greatest source of stress as well. I am trying to be a better mom, wife, teacher, friend, example, sister, daughter, and really just a better me. I feel like I am falling flat on my face some days, but no matter that's just the way it is sometimes. I get to wake up every morning and give it another shot.

I think the thing that has been on my mind lately is finding balance and recognizing what I expect from myself and then determining if that is realistic. It usually isn't and that's why I am searching for that elusive balance I'm talking about. :) That's me though. I expect more out of myself than is usually possible and I think I do that to the people around me too. I need to take it easy on all of us.

I had a couple of wonderful conversations with two dear friends yesterday. These are great women trying to do it all in life and still have time for themselves. They are women who love life and love being moms. Talking with them gave me strength to finish out a tough day. They helped me to see that I am doing a good job with my kids and that some things can wait. The greatest thing they did most for me was to help me feel normal; to know that feeling a tad bit crazy was okay. I & R, I love you both. You are great women - kindred spirits.

I am really looking for things that have helped any of you to find a better balance in life. I love sharing ideas and hearing about things that have been successful for others. So please share with the rest of us crazies out there. What do you do that keeps you a little crazy but not yet certifiable?